"Weird Al" Yankovic - Everything you know is wrong

^DI was driving on the ^Gfreeway ^Ain the ^Dfast lane with a rabid ^Gwolver^Aine in my^Bm underwear when ^Esuddenly a guy b^Aehind me in the back seat popped right ^Gup and cupped his hands across my ^Deyes ^DI guessed "Is it U^Gncle F^Arank or Cousin L^Douie? is it Bob or J^Goe or W^Aalter? Could it ^Bmbe Bill or Jim or Ed or ^EBernie or Steve?" I probably ^Awould have kept on guessing but about tha^A7t time we crashed into the ^Bmtruck And as I'm laying ^E7bleeding there on the ^Aasphalt finally I re^Dcognize the ^Emface of my hib^Gachi dealer who ^Atakes off his ^A7prosthetic lips and tells me

^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Black is white, up is d^Gown and sh^Aort is lo^Bmng And everyt^Ehing you thought was just ^Aso important ^A7doesn't matter ^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Just forget the w^C#ords and s^F#ming a^Bmlong All you need to u^Enderstand is, eve^Grything you ^Aknow is ^Fwrong^G

^DI was walkin' to the ^Gkitchen ^Afor some ^DGolden Grahams when I a^Gccidentally ^Astepped into an a^Bmlternate dimension and s^Eoon I was abd^Aucted by some aliens from ^Gspace who kinda looked like Jamie ^DFarr ^DThey sucked out my i^Gnterna^Al organs and they ^Dtook some polaroids and ^Gsaid I was a d^Aarn good sport ^BmAs a way of saying ^Ethank you they offered to tr^Aansport me back to any point in ^A7history that I would care to ^Bmgo And so I had them ^E7send me back to last T^Ahursday night so I could ^Dpay my phone ^Embill on ^Gtime Just then the floating ^Adisembodied head of Colonel Sanders ^A7started yelling

^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Black is white, up is d^Gown and sh^Aort is lo^Bmng And everyt^Ehing you thought was just ^Aso important ^A7doesn't matter ^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Just forget the w^C#ords and s^F#ming a^Bmlong All you need to u^Enderstand is, eve^Grything you ^Aknow is ^Dwrong

^DI was just about to m^Gail a letter ^Ato my ^Devil twin when I ^Ggot a ^Anasty p^Bmapercut And well, to ^Emake a long story ^Ashort it got infected ^Gand I d^Died So ^Dnow I'm up in heaven with St. ^GPeter ^Aby the ^Dpearly gates and it's ^Gobvious he doe^Asn't like the ^BmNehru jacket ^Ethat I'm wearing, he ^Atells me that they've ^A7got a dress code, ^Bmwell He lets me into heaven ^E7anyway but I ^Aget the room next to the ^Dnoisy ice ^Emmachine for all ^Geternity And ^Aevery day he ^A7runs by screaming

^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Black is white, up is d^Gown and sh^Aort is lo^Bmng, and Everything ya used to ^Ethink was so important doesnt ^Areally matter anymore ^A7because the simple fact remains that ^DEveryt^Ghing you ^Aknow is wr^Dong! Just forget the w^C#ords and s^F#ming a^Bmlong All you need to u^Enderstand is, ^Geverything you ^Aknow is w^Bmroooooooooooooo^C#moong, ^Geverything you ^Aknow is ^Dwrong!