Stephen Lynch - Down to the old pub instead

^GLad it's your duty to ^Dfind you a lass with ^Cchild-bearing hips and a ^Dpink supple ass And ^Gmake her you wife and ^Dlove her with love so ^Ctrue ^D Now, some ^Grivers run high some ^Drivers run low When her ^Criver runs red then she's ^Dstarting her flow And it's ^Gcalled menstruation and ^Dhere's what it means to ^Cyou ^D You will ^Emnotice her bloomers are ^Cspotty at first Stand ^Gback, her ovarian ^Ddam 'sgonna burst Son, ^Emdon't be afraid it's a ^Cnatural thing Just ^Gwind up some cotton and ^Dhand her some string ^CPut the old linens on top of the bed get ^Cout of the house and go ^Ddown to the old pub in^Gstead.^{D C D}

She'll ^Gretain her water her ^Dbreasts will be tender And ^Cevery third word that you ^Dsay will offend her Get ^Gout of the house and go ^Ddown to the old pub in^Cstead ^D And she'll ^Gwant to make love if you ^Ddo you’re a fool Cause you'll ^Conly end up with a ^Dbloody ol’ tool Get ^Gout of the house, ^Ddown to the old pub in^Cstead ^D And she'll ^Emwant you to sample the ^Cfruit of her loins But ^Gson it'll taste like some ^Dold rusty coins So ^Emturn off the lights boy and ^Ctake off your hat And ^Gdrop to your knees say a p^Drayer to saint pat Then ^Che'll give you the strength to get out of the bed And for ^CIreland's sake go ^Ddown to the old pub ins^Gtead. ^{D C D}

Now the ^Empub is the place where the ^Clads are a meeting ^GWhen the moon's full and the ^Dgirls are a bleatin The ^Emcatholic, the protestant e^Cven the pagan The ^Gpub is the place when your ^Dlady is raggin So ^Cdrink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks That as ^Cmen folk we don't have to bleed from our cocks And that ^Cwe can escape from the lady in red C D G (strum slowly) And get out of the house and go down ..(pause).. to the old pub instead.