Stephen Lynch - Down to the old pub instead

^FLad it^Òs your duty t^Go find you a lass with ^Fchild-bearing hips and a ^Gpink supple ass And ^Fmake her you wife and ^Glove her with love^F so tr^Gue Now, some ^Frivers run high some r^Givers run low When her ^Friver runs red then she st^Garting her flow And it^Ò^Fs called menstruation an^Gd heres what I means to ^Fyou ^G You will ^Amnotice her bloomers are ^Fspartie? At first Stand ^Fback, her ovarian ^Gdams gonna burst So ^Amdon^Òt be afraid it’s^F a natural thing Just ^Fwind up some cotton and^G give her some string ^FPut the old linens on top of the bed get ^Fout of the house and go d^Gown to the old pub

in^Fstead.^{G F G}

She^Òl^Fl retain her water her^G breasts will be tender And ^Fevery third word that you ^Gsay will offend her Get ^Fout of the house and go ^G down to the old pub i^Fnstead ^G And she^Òl^Fl want to make love if you^G do you’re a fool Cause you^Òl^Fl only end up with ^Ga bloody ol’ tool Get ^Fout of the house, dow^Gn to the old pub inste^Fad ^G And she^Òl^Aml want you to sample th^Fe fruit of her loins But ^Fson it^Òll taste like som^Ge old rusty coins So ^Amturn off the lights boy and ^Ftake off your hat And ^Fdrop to your knees say a p^Grayer to st pat

Then ^Fhe^Òll give you the strength to get out of the bed And for ^FIreland^Òs sake go^G down to the old pub

in^Fstead.^{G F G}

Now the ^Ampub is the place where the ^Flads are a meeting ^FWhen the moon^Òs full and th^Ge girls are a bleatin The ^Amcatholic, the protestant e^Fven the pagan The ^Fpub is the place when lady ^Gis raggin So ^Fdrink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks That as ^Fmen folk we don^Òt have to bleed from our cocks And that ^Fwe can escape from the lady in red And get ^Fout of the house and go ^Gdown to the old pub