Capo: 3

This song is really simple Capo on 3rd fret

E|-^A0----^F3---^G-2--^F--0-| B|-0----0----3----1-| G|-1----0----2----0-| D|-2----0----0----2-| A|-2----2----X----3-| E|-0----3----X----X-|

Verse 1:

All my ^Adays, I ^Flive with ^Gmy disg^Arace I'm ^Fafraid to ^Gshow my ^Aface Or at l^Feast take ^Goff my ^Funderwear...

See I was ^Aborn Like a ^Fhalf way ^Gneutered ^Apet I don’^Ft have ^Ga matchin^Ag set It’s ^Fa part o^Gf me That ^Fjust aint there

Please, don’t stare Chorus

Well I’m ^Aa gambling man wi^Fth out two dice I’m lik^Ae Uncle Ben with only on^Fe grain of rice Oh to ^Ahave two testis would ^Fbe so nice But I’m^G hal^Ff a ^Aman Yeah, I’^Gm hal^Ff a m^Aan

Verse2

Wanna ^Adie end it a^Fll, just ^Gcall it ^Aquits I can’^Ft find ^Ga cup tha^At fits And at ^Fbaseball ^Ggames I ^Ffeel so dumb When I ^Fhear “ball one?

Oh, my ^AGod How could ^Fyou have ^Gbeen so ^Acruel To give ^Fme one ^Gfamily ^Ajewel And the ^Fone that’^Gs there mus^Ft feel so sad He’s ^Fa lonely nad

Chorus 2

Well I’m ^Aa marathon runner wit^Fh just one leg I’m ^Aa fallopian tube with^F just one egg Oh, I ^Awant another testi Do I ^Fhave to beg? I’^Gm hal^Ff ^Aa man Yeah, im ^Ghalf ^Fa ^Aman

Bridge A..F...A...F...A...F...G...F kinda like chorus Chorus 3

Well I’m ^Aa tweedle dee with no tweedle^F dum And I’m ^Aa Siskel and an Ebert with just on^Fe thumb And I’m ^Aa Yo Ho Ho with no bottle o^Ff rum I’m jus^Gt hal^Ff a^A man Yeah, I’^Gm hal^Ff a^A man

Stephen Lynch - Half a man