Corey Taylor - Xmas

^GThere ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree. ^GGussied up with candy canes and balls ^GThose carolers have kept me up for hours ^GIt's "merry Christmas!" seeping through my walls ^GNow I'm no Wiccan commie or nothin' ^GBut there is one damn holiday I can't stand ^GIt ain't Halloween, Thanksgiving, or even April Fools ^GBut it'll surely make a fool out of every man.

^GIf I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas ^CYou know where to stick those jingle ^Gbells ^DIf I ain't hammered it ain't ^CHanukkah ^GAnd all you motherfuckers go to hell ^CIf I ain't kokeyed then it ain't ^GKwanzaa ^CJoy to the world, Jack and ^GCokes ^CIf I ain't drunk then it ain't Christma^Ds ^CCause I ain't never anything but ^Gbroke

^GNow every year the malls are just a madhouse ^GFull of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles ^GJust the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit ^GAnd those coloured lights are fucking infantile ^GI think we collectively as the people ^GShould rise against this corporate jolly noise ^GAnd tell the world: ^G"Let's buy some piece and quiet for a change" ^GBefore we spend it all on fucking toys. HA

^GSo if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas ^CYou know where to stick those jingle ^Gbells ^DIf I ain't hammered it ain't ^Chanukkah ^CFa la la la la go fuck ^Gyourself! ^DIf I ain't cockeyed it ain't ^CKwanzaa ^CJoy to the world of getting ^Gstoned ^CIf I ain't drunk then it ain't ^GChristmas ^CSo leave this god damn scrooge the fuck ^Galone. HA MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!