Song: Albuquerque Artist: Weird Al Yankovic CD: Running With Scissors Copyright: 1999 Volcano Entertainment Tabbed For: Electric Guitar Tabbed By: Tim Fehr Ok this is one of the coolest songs I've ever heard its long but Really funny. It dosent take a looser to play it but it takes one To sing it. I'm not sure about any of the solos cuz their really fast and I don't do that kinda stuff. So help would be nice.For this song you might want to know the chords that are used. Because frankly I don't use them that often. F B Fm7? Bm7 E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--| B--1-- B--3-- B--1-- B--2--| G--2-- G--3-- G--1-- G--1--| D--3-- D--3-- D--1-- D--3--| A--3-- A--1-- A--3-- A--1--| E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--| E-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-8h10p8-|-------------| B-------------|-------------|-------------|--10---------| G-------------|-------------|-------------|-----10------| D-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------| A-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------| E-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a^F b^Fox under the stairs in the corner of the basement of th^Fe ^Fhouse half a block down the street from Jerry?s Bait Sh^Fop^F? You know the place? Well anyway, back then life was ^Fgo^Fing swell and everything was juuuuus^Ft ^Fpeachy? except of course for the undeniabl^Fe ^Ffact that every single morning my^F m^Fother would make me a big old bowl of sauerkraut for^F b^Freakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! B^Fig ^Fbowl of s^Fauerk^Fraut! E-13------------| B---13p10-------| G--------10-----| F F F F F D---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to A---------------| E---------------|

my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sau^Fer^Fkraut?? And my dear sweet mother she just^F l^Fooked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming trai^Fn.^F And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s g^Food^F fo^Fr y^Fou!? ^B ^B ^B ^B And then she t^Fied me to^F the wall ^Fand stu^Fck a f^Bunnel i^Bn my mout^Bh and f^Borce-fed ^Fme n^Foth^Fing ^Fbut sa^Buerkrau^Bt until I^B was twent^By-six and ^Fa h^Falf years old. That?s when I swore that ^Fso^Fmeday, someday I would get out of that basement and t^Fra^Fvel to a magical far away place where the ^Fsun is always shining and the a^Bir smells like warm root beer^F and the towels are oh so fluffy^B, where the s^Fhriners and the lepers play their u^Bkulele?s all day long and a^Fnyone on the street?ll gladly s^Bhave you?re back for a n^Fickel. W^Baka^Bwakad^Boo^Bdoo ^Fyah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t long at all before my^F d^Fream came true because the very next day^F a^F local radio station had this contest to see who could ^Fco^Frrectly guess the number of molecules in Leonar^Fd ^FNeroy?s butt. I was off by three but I still^F w^Fon the grand prize. That?s right ^Fa ^Ffirst class one-way ticket, to ^FA ^Fm7 ^B- ^Bm7 lbu^Fquerque,^B ^F A^F ^Fm7 -^B ^Bm7 lbu^Fquerque!^B Ah yah, you know I never been on a real airplane before and I^F g^Fotta tell ya it was really great. ^FEx^Fcept that I had to ist between two large Albania^Fn ^Fwomen with excruciatingly severe body odour and the^F l^Fittle kid in back of me kept throwing up the whole time^F. ^FThe flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanut^Fs ^Fand the in flight movie was "Biodome" with^F P^Folly Shore. And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we ^Fwent into a tailspin and ^Bcrashed into a hillside and the pl^Fane exploded in a giant f^Bireball and ev^Ferybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I h^Fad my train table up^B, and my ^Fseat back in the full upr^Bight position, had my t^Frain table up^B, and my s^Feat back in the full uprig^Bht position, had my t^Frain table up,^B and my s^Feat back in the full upri^Bght position. Ah ha ha ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I^F c^Frawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I ^F ^F crawled on my hands and knees for three full day^Fs,^F dragging along my big l^Feather suitcase, and my ga^Brment bag, and my t^Fenor saxophone, and my t^Bwelve-pound bowling ball and my l^Fucky lucky autographed g^Blow in the dark snorkel^F. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?^BAlb^Buquerque ^BHoli^Bday I^Fnn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you cou^Fld^F eat you?re soup right out of the ashtrays if you wan^Fna^F, it?s OK their clean. Well I c^Fhecked into my room and I turned d^Bown the AC and I turned on the spe^Fctro vision^B and I was just about to eat that little c^Fhocolate mint on my pillow that I l^Bove so very very much when sud^Fdenly there?s a knock on the door.

^FWell now who could that be? I say, ?who ^Fis^F it?? No answer. ?Who ^Fis^F it?? There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so fi^Fnally I go over and I open the door and j^Fust as I suspected, it?s some big fat herm^Faphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and on^Fly^F one nostril. Oh man I ha^Fte^F it when I?m right. So anyway he b^Furst into my room and gr^Babbes

my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has

be^Fen just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?tou^Fgh^F? And I?m like ?give it.? And he?s like^F ?^Fmake me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I g^Frabbed his l^Feg and he gr^Babbed my oeso^Bphagus and I ^Fbit off his e^Far and he che^Bwed off my ey^Bebrows and I took out his appendix and he g^Fave me a va^Flonic irrigation yes indeed you better believe it. And ^Fso^Fmehow in the middle of it all the phone got knocked off the ho^Fok^F, and twenty seconds later I hear^Fd ^Fa familiar voice, and you know what it s^Fai^Fd, I?ll tell you what it said, it said, ?if you?d l^Fike to m^Fake a ^Bcall, p^Blease h^Bang ^Fup and t^Fry ag^Bain. ^BIf y^Fou need h^Felp hang ^Bup and th^Ben dial you?re ^Fope^Brator. If you?d l^Fike to m^Fake a c^Ball, pl^Bease h^Bang ^Fup and t^Fry ag^Bain. If y^Fou need h^Felp hang ^Bup and th^Ben dial you?re ^Foper^Bator. In ^FA ^Fm7 ^B- ^Bm7 lbu^Fquerque,^B ^F A^F ^Fm7 -^B ^Bm7 lbu^Fquerque! Well to ^Fcut a long story short he got away with my snorke^Fl.^F But I made a solemn vow right the^Fn ^Fand there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an ins^Fta^Fnt until the one-nostriled man was brought to justic^Fe.^F But first I decided to buy some donuts. So I g^Fot in my ^Fcar and drove o^Bver to the d^Bonut shop and I wa^Flked right up to the guy behind the c^Bounter and he says ?^Fyah,

wadaya want?? E-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-| it ain't per--| B-------------1311--------13--------1816----------1113---------------------| fect but it'l G-----------------1311------------------171513--13-------------------------| give you some D---------------------1310--------------------15---------------------------| thing to do A--------------------------------------------------------------------------| till you fig E--------------------------------------------------------------------------| ure it out

I said, ? you^F g^Fot any glazed donuts?? He said, ?^Fna^Faa were all out of glazed donuts.? I said,^F ?^Fwell you got any jelly donuts?? H^Fe ^Fsaid, ?naaa were all out of jelly donuts.? I said^F, ^F?you got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?? He^F s^Faid, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts^F.?^F I

said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He sai^Fd,^F ?naaa were all out of cinnamon rolls.? I sa^Fid^F, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He said^F, ^F?naaa were out of apple fritters.? I said^F, ^F?you got any bear claws!!?? He said,

?wait a minute, I?ll go check. E------------------------------------------------16-16-18-16-18-18b-| B-18v----------------------------------------19-19-18---------------| G------------------------------19-19-21-19-21-21--------------------| D-----15v---------19-19-21-19-21-21---------------------------------| A---------19h20h21--21----------------------------------------------| E-------------------------------------------------------------------| E-18-16-16-------------------| B--------18-16-16------------| G-------------18-18-15-15----| D---------------------18-18--| A-------------------------15-| E----------------------------|

Naaa were out of bear claws.?^F I said, ?well in that case,^F i^Fn that case what do you have?^F? ^FHe said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of on^Fe ^F E-24b\-| B------| dozen starving crazed weasels.?G------| I said, ?OK I?ll take that.? So he D------| A------| E------| h^Fands over the box and I o^Bpen up the lid and the we^Fasels jump out and they imm^Bediately latch onto my face^F and start biting me all over ayiyi yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts^F! ^FTheir terin? me apart.^F Y^Fou F FF know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin? B BB F FF B BB through my head. I believe it went a little something like this. ?^FDoo^Fooh^Fget^Femof^Bfme^Bget^Btem^Boffm^Feoo^Foge^Ftem^Foffg^Bett^Bemo^Bffo^Boooh^Fget^Fooo^Fohg^Feooo^Bhoo^Boah^Bhh ^Bhohh^Fhia^Fhho^Fooh^Fahah^Bahh^Bhoh^Bhhh^Bh!?^F I^F ran out onto the street with these flesh eating ^Fwe^Fasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around a^Fnd^F just runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wiener^F d^Fog. And as luck would have it, that?s ^Fex^Factly when I ran into the girl of my dreams^F, ^Fher name was Zelda^F. ^FShe was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite an^Fd ^Fhair the colour of strange peaches^F. ^FI?ll never forget the very first thing she said to m^Fe,^F she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.?^F

That?s when I knew it was tr^Fue^F love, we were inseparable after that, oh we ^Fat^Fe together, we bathed together,^F w^Fe even shared the same piece of mint- flavoured dental flos^Fs.^F The world was our burrito. So ^Fwe got married and we b^Bought us a house and had t^Fwo beautiful children, N^Bathaniel and Superfly^F. Oh we were so very very ver^Fy ^Fhappy, oh ya. But then one fateful

night Zelda said to me, she said, ?Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join F FF F B BB F B the Columbia Record Club?? I said, ?Wooooah hold on now baby, I?m

j^Fust not ready for that k^Bind of a commitment.? So ^Fwe broke up and I never saw her again but that?s j^Fust t^Fhe way^F things^F go, . In ^FA ^Fm7 ^B- ^Bm7 ^F lbuq^Fuerque^B, ^FA ^Fm7 ^B- ^Bm7 lb^Fuquerque!

E-16-16-16---16-16-16---16------16b16b17b17b17b18b18b-16-13-----------| B-18-------18---18----18--18-18-18--------------------------16--------| G--------------------------------------------------------------14-----| D-----------------------------------------------------------------15--| A---------------------------------------------------------------------| E---------------------------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------20p18p16p11-| B----------------------------------18-16-------------| G-17-15----18-18-18-16----19-17----------------------| D------17-------------16-------17--------------------| A----------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------------------|

Anyway then things really started looking up for me, bec^Fau^Fse about a week later I finally achieved my^F l^Fife-long dream. That?s right I got m^Fe ^Fa part time job at the ?Sizzler.? I eve^Fn ^Fmade employee-of-the-month after I put out that grease-fire with my^F f^Face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me ^Faf^Fter that. I was getting lota attitude^F. ^FOK like one time, I was out in the parking lot trying ^Fto^F remove my excess earwax with a golf penci^Fl,^F when I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big ol^Fd ^Fsofa up the stairs all by himself. So I-I say to hi^Fm,^F I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with that^F? ^FAnd Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes^F, ^F?nooooo I want you to cut off my arms and ^Fle^Fgs with a chain saw.^B? So I did.^F And the^Fn he ge^Fts all^F in^Bdignan^Bt on me^B, he?s l^Bike, ?^Fhey mad ^FI was ju^Fst bein^Fg sa^Brcas^Btic.^B? Wel^Bl t^Fhat?s just great, how was I supposed to know that^F? ^FI?m not a mind reader for crying out loud. ^FBe^Fsides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso

E-20-16-18-17-14-16----------------------------------------| B-------------------20-16-18-17-13-15----------------------| F F G-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----| Boy?. D-------------------------------------------------------15-| So A----------------------------------------------------------| E----------------------------------------------------------| what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing

anecdot^Fe;^F this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me ^Fhe^F hasn?t had a bite in three days. Wel^Fl ^FI knew what he meant but just to be funny I t^Foo^Fk a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s y^Felling and scr^Feaming and bl^Beeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he just kept r^Folling a^Fround on the s^Fidewalk ble^Beding and ^Bscreaming, YA^FHHHH! OH^FHHH! AH^BHHH! And I?m c^Fom^Fpletely missing the irony of the whole situation, ^Fma^Fn some people just can?t take a joke you know^F? ^FAnyway, u^Fm?^F um? where was I^F? ^FKinda lost my train of thought^F. ^FOh, uh, well oh okay ^Fan^Fyway I know it?s a roundabout way of saying it bu^Ft ^FI guess the whole point I?m trying to make is, I,^F HATE,^B S^FAURKROUT! That?s all I?m r^Beally trying to say, and by the way if o^Fne day you happen to w^Bake up and find yourself in an e^Fxsulstential qu^Bandary full of woein^Fg and self doubt and ^Bwrapped with the pain and isolation ^Fof you?re pitiful m^Beaningless existence, at l^Feast even take a small bit of c^Bomfort in knowing that s^Fomewhere out there in this cr^Bazy old mixed up u^Fniverse of ours^B, there?s s^Ftill a little place,^B called ^FA ^Fm7 ^B- ^Bm7lbuque^Frque,^B A^F ^Fm7 -^B ^Bm7 lbu^Fquerque!^B Albuq^Fuerque, Albu^Bquerque, Albu^Fquerque, Albu^Bquerque, Alb^Fuquerque, Albu^Bquerque, Albu^Fquerque, Albu^Bquerque, I say ^FA, A, ^BL, L, ^FB, B, ^BU, U? Q^FUERQUE! ^BQUERQUE!^F ^F ^B ^B ^F ^F ^B ^B ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbuq^Fuerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbu^Fquerque, ^BAlbu^Bquerque, ^FAlbuquerque,

E-13-13-11-18-16-13-11-13-11/8-6-8-6-4-------1-1-1-1-| B--------------------------------------1-----1-1-1-1-| G----------------------------------------3---2-2-2-2-| D------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo) A--------------------------------------------3-3-3-3-| E--------------------------------------------1-1-1-1-| (Belch) I'm sorry but the last part I couldn't do because it goes too fast and my fingers are sore. So just play a bunch of notes scaling from the 20th fret to the 1st on the D string and play that awkward chord with lots of electronic phony stuff attached to it. Comments, Questions or maybe even Changes (which I highly doubt) send em to

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Albuquerque