Things you don't say to your wife Written by: Tim Hawkins Tabbed(chorded?) by Mandos G C D Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end

^GThe dress you wear reminds me of^C my old gir^Dlfriend ^EmAnd where'de you^D get those shoes i ^Cthink there pretty ^Glame

^Emwould you stop t^Dalking 'cause im tr^Cying to watch the ga^Gme

(chorus)

^EmIf your a man who w^Gants to live ^Ema long and happy^G life

^Emthese are the things yo^Du don't say to your ^Gwife.

^GI planned a hunting trip ^Cnext week on your b^Dirthday ^GI didn't ask you but^C i knew i'de be^D ok

^EmGo make some di^Dnner while i watc^Ch this fishin^Gg show ^EmI taped it over^D our old w^Cedding vid^Geo

(chorus)

^GYour cooking is ok but not^C like mother mak^Des ^GThe diamond in the ring i ^Cbought you is a ^Dfake

^EmYour eyes look ^Dpuffy dear, are^C you feeling^G ill ^EmHappy aniver^Dsary i boug^Cht you a trea^Gdmill

(chorus)

^EmIf you a man who^G doesn't want to g^Emet killed with a^G knife, ^EmThese are the things you do^Dn't say to your^G wife.

Tim Hawkins - Things you dont say to your wife