I want to have Stephen Lynch's kids! That's all there is to it! okay, gerbil! probably worse than "Lullaby" but hey it's Lynch. (pick the 1st verse)

^AI bought a ^Ggerbil at the ^Dpetting ^Czoo ^AIf Richard ^GGere can do it, ^DI can ^Ctoo. ^AI get un^Gdressed and I ^Dstart to ^Clube ^AI stick the ^Ggerbil in the ^Dend of the ^Ctube.

(strum the pre-chorus)

^DWondering just ^Ahow he'll feel ^Dwill he like it better than his ^Alittle wheel ^Dcareful now he's ^Aright beside me ^Done more inch and ^Ahe's inside me ^DGO!^A!! ^D ^AGerbil ^Dgo! ^A ^D ^A

(1st Chorus)

^DBurrow ^Aharder, ^Dburrow ^Adeeper ^Dbe my ^Alittle ^Dchimney ^Asweeper ^Done thing ^AI for^Dgot ^Aabout C N/C how am I supposed to get you out

(back to picking the verse)

so ^Anow my ^Ggerbils won ^Deasy ^Cstreet ^Ait's warm and ^Gcozy and there's ^Dplenty to ^Ceat ^Athe situat^Gion is ^Dbeyond my ^Ccontrol ^Agotta find a ^Gway to get him^D out of his ^Chole.

(sturm pre-chorus)

^DI tried crowbars ^AI tried wires ^DI almost hurt'em with a ^Apair of pliers ^DI tried cheese but ^Ahe's not biting ^DI wish this wasn't ^Aso exciting ^DGo!^A!! ^D Ge^Arbil Go^D!!! ^A ^D ^A

(2nd Chorus)

^DJesus, ^AI am ^Dsuch a ^Asucker ^DPlease get ^Aout you ^Dfury f^Auuuahhh! ^DI think ^AI am g^Detting ^Aill C N/C suddenly he's very very still

(back to picking verse)

^ANow it's too ^Glate my ^Dgerbil ^Cdied ^AI guess I have^G committed ^Dgerba^Ccide ^Ahere's some ^Gadvice ^Dit's very clear ^Ccut A G D A G D(now strum verse chords) if you love your gerbil...don't stick him up your butt ^Cdon't stick him up your ^Abutt little fury gerbil in your booty hole don't stick him up your booma whomma wam (start babbling to the music, kind of a scat like singing) (Ha! Scat...um...nevermind) Yeah!

(end on chord A) any major life questions consult the manual there is a god, there is a plan and the spaceship is coming! - Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Presents

Stephen Lynch - Gerbil