Jon Lajoie - Cold blooded christmas
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Alrighty, this is my first tab so go easy on me.
CIt was late at night on GChristmas eve
CI was dreaming of the soft white Gsnow
CI was awoken by a noise near the GChristmas tree
CWhat it was GI did Fnot GknowC
CIt was Santa Clause he was Gbringing me some gifts
CUnfortunately I did Gnot know that
CSo I quietly snuck up Gbehind him
CAnd I shot him Gfive timesF in theG backC
CIt went Pow Cpow pow pow Cpow
CHe said &quoCt;what the fCuck ow ow ow"
CThen I shot hCim three moCre times in theC head
CPieces of hisC brain flew outF and he was Gdead
CThat's when I noticed his Gblood-soaked beard
CAnd his red suit filled with Gbullet holes
CI said "oh my god I kiGlled santa clause
CI'm not going to jGail for Fthis Gasshole&quCot;
CSo I went to my shed anGd I got my saw
CAnd I started to choppipty Gchop chop
CI started with his arms then hisG legs then his head
CAnd then the torsoG was a reFally loGng job C
CAnd the blood went spurCt spurt spurt
CIt was really hard Cwork work Cwork
CIt was hard Ccutting through hCis spine
CI must haveC vomited Fsixteen Gtimes
CI burnt all the pGieces in my fireplace
CThe smell of burning human flesh fGilled my nose
CEleven hours later there wasG nothing left
CAnd that's wGhen I hFeard myG telephoCne
CIt was Auntie Jean lookinGg for Uncle Bob
CShe said "He left theG house dressed as Santa Clause
CBut he didn't come home Glast night
CHave you seen him gGod I hFope heG's alrCight"