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Alrighty, this is my first tab so go easy on me.
CIt was late at night on GChristmas eve CI was dreaming of the soft white Gsnow CI was awoken by a noise near the GChristmas tree CWhat it was GI did Fnot GknowC CIt was Santa Clause he was Gbringing me some gifts CUnfortunately I did Gnot know that CSo I quietly snuck up Gbehind him CAnd I shot him Gfive timesF in theG backC CIt went Pow Cpow pow pow Cpow CHe said &quoCt;what the fCuck ow ow ow" CThen I shot hCim three moCre times in theC head CPieces of hisC brain flew outF and he was Gdead CThat's when I noticed his Gblood-soaked beard CAnd his red suit filled with Gbullet holes CI said "oh my god I kiGlled santa clause CI'm not going to jGail for Fthis Gasshole&quCot; CSo I went to my shed anGd I got my saw CAnd I started to choppipty Gchop chop CI started with his arms then hisG legs then his head CAnd then the torsoG was a reFally loGng job C CAnd the blood went spurCt spurt spurt CIt was really hard Cwork work Cwork CIt was hard Ccutting through hCis spine CI must haveC vomited Fsixteen Gtimes CI burnt all the pGieces in my fireplace CThe smell of burning human flesh fGilled my nose CEleven hours later there wasG nothing left CAnd that's wGhen I hFeard myG telephoCne CIt was Auntie Jean lookinGg for Uncle Bob CShe said "He left theG house dressed as Santa Clause CBut he didn't come home Glast night CHave you seen him gGod I hFope heG's alrCight"