Jon Lajoie - Cold blooded christmas

^AIt was late at night on ^EChristmas eve ^AI was dreaming of the soft white ^Esnow ^AI was awoken by a noise near the ^EChristmas tree ^AWhat it was ^EI did ^Dnot ^Eknow^{A A}It was Santa Clause he was ^Ebringing me some gifts ^AUnfortunately I did ^Enot know that ^ASo I quietly snuck up ^Ebehind him ^AAnd I shot him ^Efive times^D in the^E back^{A A}It went Pow ^Apow pow pow ^Apow ^AHe said &quo^At;what the f^Auck ow ow ow" ^AThen I shot h^Aim three mo^Are times in the^A head ^APieces of his^A brain flew out^D and he was ^Edead ^AThat's when I noticed his ^Eblood-soaked beard ^AAnd his red suit filled with ^Ebullet holes ^AI said "oh my god I ki^Elled santa clause ^AI'm not going to j^Eail for ^Dthis ^Easshole&qu^Aot; ^ASo I went to my shed an^Ed I got my saw ^AAnd I started to choppipty ^Echop chop ^AI started with his arms then his^E legs then his head ^AAnd then the torso^E was a re^Dally lo^Eng job ^{A A}And the blood went spur^At spurt spurt ^AIt was really hard ^Awork work ^Awork ^AIt was hard ^Acutting through h^Ais spine ^AI must have^A vomited ^Dsixteen ^Etimes ^AI burnt all the p^Eieces in my fireplace ^AThe smell of burning human flesh f^Eilled my nose ^AEleven hours later there was^E nothing left ^AAnd that's w^Ehen I h^Deard my^E telepho^Ane ^AIt was Auntie Jean lookin^Eg for Uncle Bob ^AShe said "He left the^E house dressed as Santa Clause ^ABut he didn't come home ^Elast night ^AHave you seen him g^Eod I h^Dope he^E's alr^Aight"