Jake Thackray - Sister josephine
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Oh, Sister Josephine, what do all these policemen mean
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By coming to the convent in a grim limousine, after Sister Josephine?
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While you, Sister Josephine, you sit with your boots upon the altar screen
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You smoke one last cigar - what a funny nun you are!
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The policemen say that Josephine's a burglar in disguise
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Big bad Norman, fifteen years on the run
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The Sisters disbelieve it no that can't be Josephine
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Just think about her tenderness towards the younger nuns.
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Oh, Sister Josephine, they're searching the chapel where you've been seen
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The nooks and the crannies of the nuns' canteen after Sister Josephine.
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While you Sister Josephine, you sip one farewell Benedictine
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Before your au revoir - a right funny nun you are!
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Admittedly her hands are big and hairy and embellished with a curious tattoo
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Admittedly her voice is on the deep side
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And she seems to shave more often than the other Sisters do.
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Oh, Sister Josephine, founder of the convent pontoon team
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They're looking through your bundles of rare magazines
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After Sister Josephine.
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While you, Sister Josephine, you give a goodbye sniff of benzedrine
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To the convent budgerigar - a bloody funny nun you are!
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No longer will her snores ring through the chapel during prayers
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Nor her lustful moanings fill the stille night
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No more empty bottles of altar wine come clunking from her cell
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No longer will the cloister toilet seat stand upright.
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Oh, Sister Josephine, slipping through their fingers like Vaseline
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Leaving them to clutch your empty crinoline, after Sister Josephine.
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While you Sister Josephine, sprinting through the suburbs when last seen
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Dressed only in your wimple and your rosary
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A right funny nun you seem to be.