Garfunkel and Oates - The loophole

^CAll my life I've been goo^Fd ^CDo what my mom and dad and God say I sho^Guld

^CGo to church and Bible Sch^Fool ^GTo live by God's rul^Ce

^AmSo whatever people tell me ^AmThat The Bible tells ^Gme ^CI will do

^CWalk the halls at my school with my ^Fpurity ring ^AmUnlike those other girls, I've got m^Dy morals in check ^CIt was easy to do until I g^Fot a boyfriend ^AmAnd pardon my French, but he's ^Dcute as heck

^CAnd I made a p^Fact ^CTo keep my hym^Fen intact ^FAnd Jesus and I are t^Gight

^CNever learned about the b^Firds and the bees ^AmI was taught to keep an aspirin in bet^Dween my knees ^C'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is ^Fwrong ^AmBut Jason says that guys can't ^Dwait that long

^FI don't want to lose^C him ^FTo someone who'll do^C him ^FI need to figure something o^Gut

^CWell there's a loophole in The Scripture that wo^Frks really well So I can ^Amget him off without go^Ding to hell ^CIt's my Hail Mary, f^Full of grace In Jesu^Ams' name we go to fifth base^D!

^AmOh thank you for making me h^Doly ^AmAnd thank you for giving me holes to^D choose from ^FAnd since I'm not a godless w^Ghore ^FHe'll have to come in the back do^Gor Therefore

^CFuck me in the ass 'cause I love ^FJesus ^AmThe good Lord would want it t^Fhat way^{G C}Get that sweet s^Densation a thr^Fobbing ratio^Dnalization

^FIt's just between you and^G me ^F'Cause everyone knows it's the s^Gex that God can't^C see

^CIt's hard to be as ^Fpure as me ^AmTo resist the urge to lose my ^Gvaginal virginity ^CTo wait until my mar^Friage bed ^AmTo give my husband my unsullied^G maiden head

^FSo take your c^Cock out ^FShove it in m^Cy ass ^FFuck me until^G you come

Oops! I ^Fmean let's join our s^Couls ^FAnd unite our bod^Cies ^FAnd fly with the wings of ^GGod

^CWhatever you do, don't touch my clit^Foris ^AmIf you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ign^Gore this

^CAnd no prophylactics when you put ^Fit in ^Am'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's ^Da sin

^FI've emptied my b^Cowels ^FAnd laid out the t^Cowels ^FI'm ready for ro^Gmance

^CNow I'm praying to the Power tha^Ft's the Highest ^AmBut of all of my holes, this ones t^Ghe driest

^CAnd we can't procreate if we^F anal copulate ^AmAnd God is OK with sodomy, but o^Dnly if you're straight

^FAnd I'm staying pure, ^Cno matter what ^FSo I'm OK with everythi^Gng butt Everything butt Everything butt Whoa-oh

^CFuck me in the ass 'cause^F I love Jesus ^AmThe good Lord would want it t^Fhat ^Gway ^CGet that sweet ^Dsensation a ro^Fck hard r^Dationalization

^FIt's just between you an^Gd me ^F'Cause everyone knows it's the ^Gsex that God can't ^Csee

^AmI do whatever The Bible t^Dells me to ^AmExcept for the parts that I cho^Gose to ignore ^AmBecause they're unrealistic and^G inconvenient ^AmBut the rest I live by f^Dor sure

^FSo let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shell^Gfish, polyester and divorce ^FAnd how it condones slavery and killing gays^G because those parts don't happen of course ^DLet's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (l^Fine up for ambiguities as omissions?) A^Gnd circumvent any real sacrifi^Amce, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted ^Dpositions

^CAnd don't you dare ^Gquestion my convi^Amctions ^DAnd don't look closely at the contra^Fdictions ^CAnd just focus on the ^Gsacrificial crucifix^Amion ^DAnd have faith in its complete jurisdi^Fction

^DAs the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to “have faith” Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got ^G

^FSo close your eyes ^GTake a deep breath And..

^CFuck me in the ass 'cau^Fse I love Jesus ^AmThe good Lord would want it^F that w^Gay ^CGet that sweet^D sensation an ^Firrational r^Dationalization

^FIt's just between you a^Gnd me ^F'Cause everyone kn^Gows it's the sex that God can^D't see ^FYeah, my chastity belt ha^Gs locks ^FSo sometimes you ne^Ged to think outside the b^Cox