Garfunkel and Oates - The loophole

^DAll my life I've been goo^Gd ^DDo what my mom and dad and God say I sho^Auld

^DGo to church and Bible Sch^Gool ^ATo live by God's rul^De

^BmSo whatever people tell me ^BmThat The Bible tells ^Ame ^DI will do

^DWalk the halls at my school with my ^Gpurity ring ^BmUnlike those other girls, I've got m^Ey morals in check ^DIt was easy to do until I g^Got a boyfriend ^BmAnd pardon my French, but he's ^Ecute as heck

^DAnd I made a p^Gact ^DTo keep my hym^Gen intact ^GAnd Jesus and I are t^Aight

^DNever learned about the b^Girds and the bees ^BmI was taught to keep an aspirin in bet^Eween my knees ^D'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is ^Gwrong ^BmBut Jason says that guys can't ^Ewait that long

^GI don't want to lose^D him ^GTo someone who'll do^D him ^GI need to figure something o^Aut

^DWell there's a loophole in The Scripture that wo^Grks really well So I can ^Bmget him off without go^Eing to hell ^DIt's my Hail Mary, f^Gull of grace In Jesu^Bms' name we go to fifth base^E!

^BmOh thank you for making me h^Eoly ^BmAnd thank you for giving me holes to^E choose from ^GAnd since I'm not a godless w^Ahore ^GHe'll have to come in the back do^Aor Therefore

^DFuck me in the ass 'cause I love ^GJesus ^BmThe good Lord would want it t^Ghat way^{A D}Get that sweet s^Eensation a thr^Gobbing ratio^Enalization

^GIt's just between you and^A me ^G'Cause everyone knows it's the s^Aex that God can't^D see

^DIt's hard to be as ^Gpure as me ^BmTo resist the urge to lose my ^Avaginal virginity ^DTo wait until my mar^Griage bed ^BmTo give my husband my unsullied^A maiden head

^GSo take your c^Dock out ^GShove it in m^Dy ass ^GFuck me until^A you come

Oops! I ^Gmean let's join our s^Douls ^GAnd unite our bod^Dies ^GAnd fly with the wings of ^AGod

^DWhatever you do, don't touch my clit^Goris ^BmIf you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ign^Aore this

^DAnd no prophylactics when you put ^Git in ^Bm'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's ^Ea sin

^GI've emptied my b^Dowels ^GAnd laid out the t^Dowels ^GI'm ready for ro^Amance

^DNow I'm praying to the Power tha^Gt's the Highest ^BmBut of all of my holes, this ones t^Ahe driest

^DAnd we can't procreate if we^G anal copulate ^BmAnd God is OK with sodomy, but o^Enly if you're straight

^GAnd I'm staying pure, ^Dno matter what ^GSo I'm OK with everythi^Ang butt Everything butt Everything butt Whoa-oh

^DFuck me in the ass 'cause^G I love Jesus ^BmThe good Lord would want it t^Ghat ^Away ^DGet that sweet ^Esensation a ro^Gck hard r^Eationalization

^GIt's just between you an^Ad me ^G'Cause everyone knows it's the ^Asex that God can't ^Dsee

^BmI do whatever The Bible t^Eells me to ^BmExcept for the parts that I cho^Aose to ignore ^BmBecause they're unrealistic and^A inconvenient ^BmBut the rest I live by f^Eor sure

^GSo let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shell^Afish, polyester and divorce ^GAnd how it condones slavery and killing gays^A because those parts don't happen of course ^ELet's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (l^Gine up for ambiguities as omissions?) A^And circumvent any real sacrifi^Bmce, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted ^Epositions

^DAnd don't you dare ^Aquestion my convi^Bmctions ^EAnd don't look closely at the contra^Gdictions ^DAnd just focus on the ^Asacrificial crucifix^Bmion ^EAnd have faith in its complete jurisdi^Gction

^EAs the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to “have faith” Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got ^A

^GSo close your eyes ^ATake a deep breath And..

^DFuck me in the ass 'cau^Gse I love Jesus ^BmThe good Lord would want it^G that w^Aay ^DGet that sweet^E sensation an ^Girrational r^Eationalization

^GIt's just between you a^And me ^G'Cause everyone kn^Aows it's the sex that God can^E't see ^GYeah, my chastity belt ha^As locks ^GSo sometimes you ne^Aed to think outside the b^Dox