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Tuning: E A D G B E
[Verse 1]
GI pounded on a farmhouse lookin' for a place to stay I was mighty, mighty tired I had come a long, long way I said "HCey hey in there is there anybody home?" I was staGndin' on the steps feelin' most alone When oDut comes a farmer he must have thought that I was nuts He immeGdiately looked at me and stuck a gun into my guts
[Verse 2]
GI fell down to my bended knees Saying "I dig farmers don't shoot me, please" He coCcked his rifle and began to shout "Are you that trGavelin' salesman that I have heard about?" I said "DNo, no, no I'm a doctor and it's true I'm a clGean-cut kid and I been to college too"
[Verse 3]
GThen in comes his daughter whose name was Rita She looked like she stepped out of La Dolce Vita I immediaCtely tried to cool it with her dad And toGld him what a nice pretty farm he had He said "WhDat do doctors know about farms, pray tell?" I said "I was bGorn at the bottom of a wishing well"
[Verse 4]
GWell, by the dirt 'neath my nails I guess he knew I wouldn't lie He said "I guess you're tired" He said it kind of sly I said "YCes, ten thousand miles today I drove" He said "GI got a bed for you underneath the stove JuDst one condition you can go to sleep right now That you dGon't touch my daughter and in the morning, milk the cows"
[Verse 5]
GI was sleepin' like a rat when I heard something jerkin' There stood Rita lookin' just like Tony Perkins
ShCe said "Would you like to take a shower? I'll show you up to the door" I said "OGh, no, no I've been through this movie before"
I knDew I had to split but I did not know how When she saGid "Would you like to take that shower now?"
[Verse 6]
GWell, I couldn't leave unless the old man chased me out 'Cause I'd already promised that I'd milk his cows I hCad to say something to strike him very weird So I yGelled "I like Fidel Castro and his beard" RitDa looked offended but she got out of the way As he caGme charging down the stairs sayin' "What's that I heard you say?"
[Verse 7]
GI said, "I like Fidel Castro I think you heard me right" And I ducked as he swung at me with all his might RitCa mumbled something 'Bout her mother on the hill As his fGist, it hit the icebox he said he's going to kill MDe if I don't get out the door in two seconds flat "You uGnpatriotic Rotten doctor Commie rat"
[Verse 8]
GWell, he threw a Reader's Digest at my head and I did run I did a somersault as I seen him get his gun And cCrashed through the window at a hundred miles an hour And lGanded fully blast in his garden flowers RiDta said "Come back" and he started to load The sGun was comin' up and I was runnin' down the road
[Verse 9]
GWell, I don't figure I'll be back there for a spell Even though Rita moved away and got a job at a motel He stCill waits for me constant on the sly He waGnts to turn me in to the F.B.I MDe, I romp and stompings thankful as I romp Without Gfreedom of speech I might be in the swamp