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Tuning: E A D G B E
[Chords] D7sus x00213 C/G xx2013 (or 3x2013) [Intro] G D7 G C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G [Verse 1]
Well, I D7sustook me a woman late last night I was three-fourths drunk, she looked alGrightC/G G C/G G 'Til she D7susstarted peelin' off her onion-gook She took off her wig, an' said, "How do I Glook?"C/G G I was C/Ghigh-flyin'G C/G G Bare-C/GnakedG C/G G Out the C/GwindowG D7 C/G G C/G G
[Verse 2]
Well, D7sussometimes I might get drunk Walk like a duck and C/Gsmell like a Gskunk Don't D7sushurt me none, it don't hurt my pride 'Cause I got my little lady right by my Gside C/G G
She's-a C/Gtryin' to hGide C/G G Pretendin' C/Gshe don't know Gme D7sus C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 3]
I's D7susout there paintin' on the old woodshed When a can of black paint it fell on my Ghead C/G G D7susI went down to scrub and rub But I had to sit in C/Gback of the Gtub C/G G Cost a C/Gquarter G D7sus Half-price C/G G C/G G C/G
[Verse 4]
Well, my D7sustelephone rang, it would not stop It's President Kennedy callin' me Gup C/G G He said, D7sus"My friend Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?" I said, "My friend John, Brigitte BarGdot C/G G Anita C/GEkberg G C/G G Sophia C/GLoren G C/G G Country-OC/G-Grow" G D7 C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 5]
Well, D7susI got a woman four feet short She yells and hollers and C/Gscreams and Gsnorts C/G G She D7sustickles my nose pats me on the head Rolls me over and C/Gkicks me outta Gbed C/G G She's a C/Gman-eatGer C/G G C/GMeat-grinGderC/G G Bad losD7suser C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 6]
Oh, D7susthere ain't no use in me workin' all the time I got a woman who works C/Gherself Gblind Works D7susup to her britches, up to her neck Writes me letters and C/Gsends me Gchecks She's a C/Ghumdinger G C/G G FolkC/G singerG D7sus C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 7]
D7susLate one day in the middle of the week Eyes were closed, I was C/Ghalf aGsleep I D7suschased me a woman up the hill Right in the middle of an C/Gair raid GdrillC/G G I jumped the C/Gfallout shelGterC/G G I jumped the C/Gstring-bean G C/G G I jumped the C/GTV dinner G C/G G I jumped the C/GshotGgunD7sus C/G G C/G G
[Verse 8]
Now, the D7susman on the stand, he wants my vote He's a-runnin' for office on aC/G ballot nGote He's D7susout there preachin' in front of the steeple Tellin' me he loves all C/Gkinds of GpeopleC/G G He's eatin' C/Gbagels G C/G G He's eatin' C/Gpizza G C/G G He's eatin' C/GchitGlinsD7 C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 9]
Oh, I D7susset me down on the television floor I flipped the channel on to C/Gnumber Gfour D7susOut of the shower comes a football man With a bottle of oil C/Gin his Ghand C/G G Greasy C/Gkid stuffG C/G G C/G G But what D7susI want to know, Mr. Football Man Is what do you do about C/G Willy GMays? C/G G C/G G Martin LuthC/Ger KingG? C/G G Oula TunC/Gjee? D7sus C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 10]
Well, the D7susfunniest woman I ever seen Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. GCleaC/Gn G She takes D7susabout fifteen baths a day Wants me to grow a mustache C/Gon my Gface She's C/GinsaGneC/G D7sus C/G G C/G G C/G G
[Verse 11]
Well, ya D7susask me why I'm drunk all the time It levels my head and C/Geases my Gmind C/G G I just D7suswalk along and stroll and sing I'll see better days and I'll C/Gdo better GthingC/Gs G I'll catch C/Gdinosaurs G C/G G Make love to C/GElizabeth TaylGor C/G G Catch hell fromC/G Richard BurtGon C/G G C/G D7sus C/G G C/G G