Billy Connolly - Divorce

^FOur little dog is six year^Fs old, an^Fd he's smart as any damn kid. But when you mention the V.E.T. he ^Gdamn near flips his l^Gid.

^FWords like S.H.O.^FT. shot o^Fr W.O.R.M. worm, ^FThese are words ^Fwhich make him S.Q^G.U.I.^FR.M. squirm.

^FHis Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N^F.E starts ^Ftoday, Coz he bit the V.E.T. and then^G he ran away.^G

^FHe caused me and my wife to have a big fight,^F and then, both o^Ff them bit me. And ^Fthat's why I am ^Fgonna get a D.I.V.O.^GR.C.^FE.

^FShe shouted "get him Rover,"^F; and he ju^Fmped over, and bit my L.E.G. She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and ^Gcalled me an effin ^GC.

^FWell I'm telling you, t^Fhat was m^Fy cue, to get O.F.F.-ski ^FAnd I'm going^F down to the town tonight to g^Get a^F new B.I.R.D.

^FOh yes his Q.U.A^F.R.A.N.T.I.N^F.E starts today. Both my wife and my we^Ge scabby dog wil^Gl soon be hauled away.

^FThat's why I spell^F out all these word^Fs, so as my dog can't hear. Oh ^FI must admit tha^Ft dog is acting Q.^GU.E.E.R^F. queer.

Oh, ^FI must admit my d^Fog is acting Q.U.E^G.E.R. q^Fueer.