Billy Connolly - Divorce

^GOur little dog is six year^Cs old, an^Gd he's smart as any damn kid. But when you mention the V.E.T. he ^Adamn near flips his l^Did.

^GWords like S.H.O.^CT. shot o^Gr W.O.R.M. worm, ^CThese are words ^Gwhich make him S.Q^D.U.I.^GR.M. squirm.

^GHis Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N^C.E starts ^Gtoday, Coz he bit the V.E.T. and then^A he ran away.^D

^GHe caused me and my wife to have a big fight,^C and then, both o^Gf them bit me. And ^Cthat's why I am ^Ggonna get a D.I.V.O.^DR.C.^GE.

^GShe shouted "get him Rover,"^C; and he ju^Gmped over, and bit my L.E.G. She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and ^Acalled me an effin ^DC.

^GWell I'm telling you, t^Chat was m^Gy cue, to get O.F.F.-ski ^CAnd I'm going^G down to the town tonight to g^Det a^G new B.I.R.D.

^GOh yes his Q.U.A^C.R.A.N.T.I.N^G.E starts today. Both my wife and my we^Ae scabby dog wil^Dl soon be hauled away.

^GThat's why I spell^C out all these word^Gs, so as my dog can't hear. Oh ^CI must admit tha^Gt dog is acting Q.^DU.E.E.R^G. queer.

Oh, ^CI must admit my d^Gog is acting Q.U.E^D.E.R. q^Gueer.