Will Varley - I got this email

I spent ^C6 hours watching TV ^FAntiques and Jeremy Till ^C4 in the afternoon^G When my ^Cmother came in Said "it's ^Fwearing pretty thin, Son you ^Cbetter get a ^Gfucking job ^Csoon" And I we^Cnt on to the internet To ^Fsee what jobs I could get ^CJust to keep my mother satisfi^Ged But with ^Cmy degree in aviation For ^Fevery single occupation ^CI felt somewhat ^Gover quali^Cfied ^CThen I saw in the corner of the screen ^FSomeone had sent a message to me ^CThey put certain characters in ^Gbold ^CI cried tears as I read Every sin^Fgle word they said ^CAll of my ^Gproblems were ^Csolved

I said ^F"don't worry mother Cos ^CI got this email From that ^Gprince of some country ^Amsomewhere He said his ^Fplan could never fail I'll ^Cgive him all my bank details And he'll ^Gmake me a milli^Conaire"

Next ^Cmorning I was so excited I ^Fpissed myself didn't try to hide it I had ^Cpound signs gleaming in my ^Geyes But I^C went on down to Savile Row To ^Fbuy myself a suit of gold But they ^Conly had ^Gsilver in my ^Csize

I thought w^Chat should I do with all this money ^F Oh lord wouldn't it be funny If I ^Cbought myself a brand new l^Gimousine So ^CI went down to the limousine shop ^FAsked the salesman "what you got?" He just ^Cstood there ^Gstaring back at ^Cme

He said "^CI'm sorry sir we're closing down ^FNo one can afford limousines in this town I'm ^Cbroke I'm bankrupt I'll have to sell my ^Gkids" I said "^Cdon't sell your children I ^Fthink I can save them ^CCome and ^Gtake a look at ^Cthis"

I said "don't ^Fworry Mr salesman Cos ^CI got this email From that p^Grince of some country some^Amwhere He said his ^Fplan could never fail I'll ^Cgive him all my bank details And he'll ^Gmake us both millionai^Cres"

^CWell me and the limousine salesman were whistling Dixie at this point Talking about our suits of solid gold ^C

And ^Csuddenly out of the blue We ^Fsaw ourselves a hippie or two And ^Cthey were protesting about the ^Gwar We f^Collowed them down to Number 10 Traf^Falgar Square then back again And ^Cthen we started b^Ganging at the ^Cdoor

We said ^C"come on David speak to us We're ^Ftired and we're pissed off So^Cme of us are moving to ^GFrance And ^Cfinally he showed his face And ^Fafter him in second place Came ^CNick Clegg on his ^GGame-boy ^CAdvance

I said "^Chow you doing Nick? What level you on?" He said "level^C 5" I said "what game you playing Ni^Cck? He said "Tetr^Cis"

N.C.

I said "level 5s pretty easy to get to on Tetris Nick"

And ^Cthen from the crowd ^FThere came a shout And ^Ceverybody turned to ^Glook And in the ^Cmiddle of the humdrum Was ^FDavid Cameron's mum ^CStanding there ^Gshaking her^C hook

She said ^G"David what you doing? The c^Gountry's in meltdown I'm ^Gbuying all my knickers from ^GPrimark The ^Ampeople are rioting The ^Emhigh streets are empty The ^Fcountry is going to ^Gshit"

And David said ^F"don't worry mother Cos ^CI got this email From that ^Gprince of some country some^Amwhere He said his ^Fplan could never fail I'll ^Cgive him all our bank details And he'll ^Gmake us all million^Caires"