Tim Minchin - The good book
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BbLife is like an ocean voyage and our Fbodies are the ships
CAnd without a moral compass we would Aall be cast aDmdrift Dm/C
So to Bbkeep us on our bearings, the FLord gave us a gift
C7And like most gifts you get, it was a Cbook
I Fonly read one book, but it's a Bbgood book, don't you know
I C7act the way I act because the Good Book tells me sFo
F F7/Eb Bb/D Bbm/D
If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
'Cos the C7Good Book is a book and it is Fgood and it's a book
I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'
DmI tried to read some other books, but I Asoon gave up on that
The Bbparagraphs ain't numbered and they Fcomplicate the Cfacts
I Acan't read Harry Potter 'cos they're Dworshipping false gods and that
And GDumbledore's a poofter and that's Cbad, 'cos it's not good
Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good
And it's a book, and it's a book
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin'
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The Ganswers can be found right there in CGenesis!
Chapter D6, Verse 5-7!
GSwing your partner by the hand
CHave a baby if you can
DBut if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
GTo satiate your loving God's
CFetish for dead baby blood
DIt's simple faith, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!
BeFfore the Good Book made us good, there was Bbno good way to know
If a Cthing was good or not that good or kind of touch and Fgo
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received
The BbTelegraph said, "This God isF reminiscent ofC the Norse."
The BbTimes said, "Kind of turgid, bFut I liked the bit Cwith horses."
The AMail said, "Lots of massacreDms, a violent tour de force.
If you Gonly read one book this year, then Cthis one is a book
And it is Dgood, and it's a book!"
Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!
If Emyou just close your eyes and block your Bears
To the acCcumulated knowledge of the Glast two thousand Dyears
Then Bmorally, guess what? You're off the Emhook
And thank AChrist you only have to read one Dbook
DmJust because the book's contents
Were Awritten generations hence
DmBy hairy desert-dwelling gents
ASquatting in their dusty tents
EmJust because what Heaven said
BWas said before they'd leavened bread
EmJust 'cos Jesus couldn't read
BDoesn't mean that we should need
CWhen manipulating human genes
GTo alleviate pain and fight disease
CWhen deciding whether it's wrong or right
GTo help the dyin' let go of life
DOr stop a pregnancy when it's
Just a tiny blastocyst
BThere's no reason why we should take a Emlook
DAt any other Cbook
G/BBut the Good Book
A'Cause it's good
And it's a book
DAnd it's a book
And it's quite good!
G G7/F
Good is good and evil's bad
C/E Cm/E
And kids get killed when God gets mad
DAnd you'd better take a good look
At the GGood Book D G