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Author: Sanger (Tom Hodge)
Hello E Welcome to my show B/D# I'm glad that you could Dcome Dsus2 We're Agonna have a hoot We're Dgonna have B/D#some Efun
[notes – A3 B3 D3 G3 B3 D3]
Sit back E Put your feet up and relax E/D# I hope you've had a drink or DthreeDsus2 The Amore you've drunk The Dbetter I’lB/D#l eveEr be
And Aif you have a mobile phone PleaAmse turn it off ThanEk you
And Aif you have Tourette's syndrome JustAm do whatever it is you people Edo
And F#if you are offended by stronAg language or blasphemy EMaybe you should Achuff Boff Ehome Cos it's Aonly gonna get worse E AOnly gonna get worse E AOnly gonna get worse From now Eon……………c**t
[notes – E2 F#2 G#2]
AMy name is Tim DI write funny Asongs and sing AAnd if you don't think Bfunny songs are E7funny Well AI respect your right To Dthink exactly Awhat you like But you're Asure as shit not E7getting back your Amoney
Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E And if you write for a newspaper I'd just like to say D Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E That I read your publication every single day Dmaj7 Bø C#7 F#m And I agree with absolutely everything you say Dmaj9 Bø/D I think you're the most perspicacious and delightful, eloquent, insightful writer A G/A D/A Dm/A Writing on the subject of the arts
Dmaj9But if you write a bad review Bø/D I promise you I'll come round to your house A G/A D/A Bmb5/A And lay turds in all your potted indoor plants I'll lay B11turds! In all your C11plants! Your indoor C#11plants!
Your potted indoor plants!
Hello F# C#/E# Welcome to my show I'm glad you all could Esus2come B E C#/E# F# It's time for a little audience participation Sing, F#"Yeah!" (Yeah!) Sing, E"Yeah!" (Yeah!) Sing, B"Yeah yeah yeah!" (Yeah yeah yeah!) Sing, F#"Ooo yeah!" (Ooo yeah!) Sing, F#"I am an audience member!" (I am an audience member!) E"Why are you making me sing?" (Why are you making me sing?) B"You self indulgent wanker!" (You self indulgent wanker!) "F#Just get on with the fucking show!" (Just get on with the fucking show!)
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