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Note: this is not mine, I found it on an internet forum, if you tabbed it a) thanks b) sorry c) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit. Thanks! (A) E/G# Obviously I don't want to infer that being invited onto Friday Night with Wossy
isn't wonderfully affirming,F#m and I know I Eoughta Aappreciate the risk you took, the bookers who agreed to book E/G# F#m aE chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the BBC in hot water.
And I A6don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying (E) I'd like to be here every week if that's OK. Fo7(or E7b9/F) And, if you'll hear me out, I think I've got a way in which F#mwe could do it Epretty easiDly. You can leave all the boring details to Eme. A6* Eadd2/A* F#m/A* It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept. A6* Eadd2/A* E/B No one in Britain has ever done anything like it yet.
Picture this - imagine if we had (A) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a wicked idea.
Why Asettle for a quartet of E/G#queers When there's a D/F#possibility of a Epenta-poofter-piano-posse here? (A) E/G# F#m E D Five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it'll be ace: a Ahundred percent more piaE/G#nos and twenty five perDcent more Agays.
Pickup: E F# G# (A) I know, I know, I've seen the problem too. (E/A) There's a rumour I am straight, it's true. (D/A) Dm It hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent
as Wossy himself or DmFiddy Cent. (A) But I've already thought it through. (E/A) D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do sexuDality conversions. I've heard them assert they can D7cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt. Well I E7don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse, and we'd have -
(A) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah, it's a revolution
and Aprobably the best soE/G#lution to the problem you're Dinevitably having with an Eeven number of homosexuals.
Pickup: E F# G# (A) Yes I know your producers might suspect (E/A) that the licence-paying public will object (D/A) D to the Corporation having yet
another homoDmsexual to pay. (A) The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out. (E/A) Jan Moir will be frothing at the mouth, (D/A) writing further brilliant stuff about (Dm) E the myth about being both happy and gay.
F#m F#m/A F#m/C# But all that moral indignation
will D/F#disappear when they seeA/E those Dfour lovely guys and Ame Bmsinging in perfect harEmony.
F#m/A And all those angry letter writers,
likeD/A 'Disgusted' from the Isle of Wight F#m/A and 'Mad' from Hull and 'Outraged' from Leeds E E7 Fo7 and 'Slightly Annoyed' from Berwick on Tweed, will F#minstantly Echange their Dtune. They'll be Ableeding-heart liberals by ESaturday noon. They'll be Dgiving their grandchildren up for adoption E E7 Fo7 in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt 'em.
They'll be Fputting rainbow stickers on their cars, G E (Bass line - A E F E G A) and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides. And watching 2 pianos and 5 guys Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys G (picks up on the G in the bass line) Watching 2 pianos and five ..1, 2 ,3, 4,
(C) G/B Am G F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah, it'll be grand.
You can Cnever have too many G/Bpianos or Ftoo much Cman. (C) G/B Am F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out Jamie Cullum. GMake it a trio of pianos and a Fbig gay half Cdozen.