The Moron Brothers - The world is out of toilet paper

Was in a lo^Gcal big store the other day, Couldn't bel^Cieve people was acting' that way, A^Dll in a hurry, Walkin' around like they's m^Gad. I fo^Gund out why over in paper goods, Them Is^Cles was empty and there I stood, Not e^Dven a paper napkin to be h^Gad.

Then a s^Gkid a load of Charmin rolled in outta the back, Like a fe^Ceding piranhas they began to attack, P^Dushin' and a shovin', Even throw'd a punch or t^Gwo. Well them pe^Gople wasn't raised in the country like me, Toilet p^Caper was a rich man's luxury, I wr^Dote this song, To tell 'em of the things they can ^Gdo.

I've used we^Geds and leaves and a hand full of grass, A^Cll kind of ways you can clean your self, And when the n^Dew Sears catalog came out, We's all g^Glad. In the su^Gmmer time when the sweet corn was ripe, We'd s^Cave every cob was a really good wipe, Toilet p^Daper to us, Was somethin' that the rich folks h^Gad.

I'm gonna n^Game some plants you don't wanna use, L^Cook em up, You won't be confused, Po^Dison Ivy, Poison Oak, Sumac t^Goo. The one B^Gurly hates is a horrible thing, Called St^Cinging Nettles, It really stings, J^Dust about anything else out there you can u^Gse.

Like we^Geds and leaves and a hand full of grass, A^Cll kind of ways you can clean your self, When the n^Dew Sears catalog come out, We's all g^Glad, In the su^Gmmer time when the sweet corn was ripe, We'd s^Cave every cob was a really good wipe, Toilet p^Daper to us, Was somethin' that the rich folks h^Gad.

Now with a^Gll the fake news in the newspaper, I don't g^Cet one anymore, But n^Dow I got a good use for them, I think I'll get three or f^Gour. St^Gock Market Report, The New York Times, Na^Ctional Enquirer will do just fine, You can r^Dead about the Royal Family while you rec^Gline.

Used we^Geds and leaves and a hand full of grass, A^Cll kind of ways to clean your self, When the S^Dears catalog came out, We's all g^Glad. In the su^Gmmer time when the sweet corn was ripe, We'd s^Cave every cob and make a good wipe, Toilet p^Daper to us, Was somethin' that the rich folks h^Gad.

Now ^G80% of the toilet paper Is made in Ch^Cina anyways, And B^Durly say's that's exactly how they're gonna wipe us all out somed^Gay. Now you k^Gnow some other things you can do, ^C It'll all work out in the end for you, Be s^Dure to wash your hands when you get thr^Gough. Be s^Dure to wash your hands when you get thr^Gough. ^{G D G}

^N.C.“I'm tearin' up my old clothes fer rags.” “Hmmm, Don't use no Burlap!”