The Corries - The scottish holiday

So you thi^Gnk you're gaein' tae the north to^C spend a holiday, cause you're vaguely Scottish on your mithe^Dr's side, and you'v^Ge heard of ancient glories, both r^Cenowned in song and story, kilts and ^Ghaggis, Andy St^Dewart and the ^GClyde.

Ye go up by^G Crianlarich, it's the gateway to^C the north, and the scenery will please your eyes^D, I'm sure. Ye take oo^Gt your picnic basket 'cause the c^Car has blown a gasket in the mid^Gdle o' a place ^Dcalled Rannoch^G Moor.

So you tel^Gephone the garage listed in the t^Courist guide, that was published for you by ^Dthe R.A.C., but by des^Gign, or by intention, or, they ju^Cst forget to mention that the g^Garage closes do^Don for half pa^Gst three.

So you're ^Gtowed behind this tractor tae a c^Corrugated shed that's surrounded by farm implemen^Dts and carts, and you sc^Gratch your head and wonder why yo^Cu ever bought a Honda, 'cause the^Gy'll have to se^Dnd to Tokyo fo^Gr the parts.

So you boa^Grd the train for Oban and you get^C the boat to Mull feeling like you've had a night up^Don the tiles, ye pay twe^Gnty pence for coffee with a tang ^Co' diesel oil, your exper^Gience in the sw^Dindle o' the i^Gsles.

But your p^Gulse begins to quicken at the tho^Cught of berry-pickin', so you take a trip to 'Gowrie fo^Dr a spell, wi' some w^Gellies o' your mothers that she b^Cought in Ali Brothers, and a Gide^Gon bible pinche^Dd frae yer hot^Gel.

So you're ^Gstanding picking rasps being stun^Cg to death by wasps, the midges and the cleggs are m^Daking free, and the ba^Girns have ate the berries and con^Ctracted dysentery, 'cause las^Gt week they spr^Dayed the crop ^Gwith DDT.

So you're ^Gheadin' back to Birmingham more w^Caterlogged than tanned, but no signs of habitation c^Dan you see, when you t^Ghought you were in Berwick you we^Cre actually in Lerwick, 'Cause som^Ge vandal change^Dd the signpost^G in Dundee