Sycamore Smith - The censored sailor

^B7I caught a spot of rabies last Fall While I was ^Eroaming through the South— It was ^B7raining cats & dogs and every cat and dog was foa^Eming at the mou^B7th... I met a^E wild-eyed^B7 spinster on the back of a bus She asked if there was any^E part of her I'd like to touch When I told her "Yer^B7 nuts!" she got mad at me And lectured on female anatomy^E..^E7. ^{C B7}

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S: ^AI got a tight white ^Dsailor's suit on ^GI got some business with y^Aou on the futon ^FIf you got the time, honey, ^GI got the moolah I'm^Am not M^Am7r Right, but I^F am Mr ^ETwo Wrongs... ^ACardinals with f^Duchsia feathers ^GGrip their flies and^A flap together ^FHere comes a bird with a^G ball on a tether ^AmFollowed by ano^Ether and ano^Amther and an^Eother Am E Am … E And the rest of this adventure is CENSORED ------ ^B7Flanagan went a full year without bathing And he reeked like a Hell-born beast ^E

With a bear ^B7claw and e^Elbow greas^B7e So I told him "You'll be ^Eshowered with candy and treats If you can knock a p^B7iñata off the branch of a tree" But what I showed him wa^Es not a pinata, no, 'Twas a b^B7eehive, actually.^E.. ^{E7 C B7}

^A7Thus he was ^B7chased by the bees,^E They fol^A7lowed him down to th^B7e creek ^E He j^A7umped in the ^B7water— The u^Epshot's he got his First ^A7bath in ^B7fifty-two wee^Eks^{E7 C B7}

If yer a w^B7ealthy old codger then y'better not lodge here At the Amp^Eutated Arms Hotel, pop— The m^B7an behind the counter, though a brute & a bounder Is a m^Eilk-sop next^B7 to the bell-ho^Ep Who'd rather turn you ^B7inside oot & backwards Than pamper you, you highfalutin ^Ebastard— Ask him for a ^B7hand with your bag And you are^E gonna catch a bo^B7ot in yer sack, ^Esir! ^{E7 C B7}

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S: ^AI got a tight white s^Dailor's suit on ^GI got some business with ^Ayou on the futon ^FIf you got the time, honey,^G I got the moolah I'm ^Amnot Mr ^Am7Right, but^F I am M^Er Two Wrongs... ^ACardinals with^D fuchsia feathers ^GGrip their flies and^A flap together ^FHere comes a bird with a^G ball on a tether ^AmFollowed by ^Eanother and an^Amother and ano^Ether Am E Am … E And the rest of this adventure is CENSORED