Ray Stevens - The higher education of ole blue

Well my ^Cdaddy was a backwoods self-made type Never ^Fwent to school, couldn't read nor write But made a f^Cortune sellin' hogs, and was ^G7suspicious of education So when ^CI told him I was goin' off to scool He said "well ^Fyou listen to me you dumb cityfied fool So do^Cn't expect no help from me son, and no ^G7financial reminer^Cation" Now my ^Gdad was tight but he loved his dogs, that's ^Ctrue Yeah and his ^D7favorite of the pack was called Ole ^GBlue

So I ^Ccalled my dad when I got to college I said "^FDad I know you don't think much of human knowledge But ^Cthey got a course down here where they can teach dogs to ^G7speak, yeah Now I d^Con't mean speak like bark for a bone Nah ^Fthey say these dogs can carry on An ^Cintelligent conversation and some e^G7ven go on to t^Ceach, yeah And when I ^Gheard of that course of course I thought of ^Cyou And how g^D7reat it'd be for you to sit and talk to O^Gle Blue"

Well the l^Cine fell silent and I thought all was lost But he ^Ffinally spoke up said "what's that cost?" I said "^CDad it's a bargain at five thousa^G7nd per semester" Well ^Che didn't balk and he didn't complain 'n Ole ^FBlue showed up on the very next train And t^Chat's how my dad b^G7ecame the priority ^Cinvestor

In the ^Chigher education ^Fof Ole ^CBlue A story that if it's not at ^D7all to be ^Gtrue About a ^C7fiscal windfall situation ^Fof my very own creation The ^Cinspiration ^Amthat I call the e^Cducation ^Gof Ole ^CBlue

^CAnd the money just kept on rollin' in, ha ha ha ^CFor 8 semesters, forty thousand dollars, woo!

^CWell all too soon time to graduate The ^Fday had dawned I'd come to hate The ^Cday I had to go home and face my ^G7dad When I ^Cstepped off the train he said "where's Ole Blue? ^FPhew! Phew! Phew! boy come here I wanna talk to you! And I sw^Callowed hard and said Pop I've got some ^G7news and I'm 'fraid it's ^Cbad You see comin' ^Ghome on the train Ole Blue was smokin' his pipe And ^Creadin' the New York Times When he t^D7ook off his glasses, looked over and said 'Boy are you ^Gaware of all your daddy's crimes?'

"Then he said 'he's a ^Cmass murderer just ask Denny Hog And he's ^Ftreated my mama just like a dog And r^Cubbed my nose in stuff you wouldn't believe, made me ^G7sleep on the hard cold ground But I can ^Ctalk now and his days are through 'Cause I'm g^Fonna tell your mama a thing or two About his s^Cecret drinkin' habits, yeah and his a^G7ffair with the Widow ^CBrown' And when I ^Gheard Blue says those things Pop, somethin' ^Csnapped inside my brain So I ^D7grabbed him up and I strangled him and I ^Gthrowed him off the train, yeah"

Well my d^Cad looked at me his eyes ablaze And his ^Fface contorted like somebody crazed And it d^Cidn't look like he'd believed a word ^G7I'd said Then he ^Cgrabbed my coat, pulled me up real close F N/C Said "boy there's just one thing I wanna know Are you ^Creal sure that no-good lyin' f^G7leabag is d^Cead?", and that's

The ^Cinspiration t^Amhat I call the e^Cducation ^Gof Ole ^CBlue ^{F G C}