Ray Stevens - Juanita and the kids

^CI got a letter from the IRS ^FInviting me to be their guest At an ^Caudit they were conducting just for ^Gme They said no ^Cneed to worry, probably nothing wrong ^FJust bring your wife and your children along We just n^Ceed to clear up a s^Gmall technica^Clity

^CNow the only problem with an audit is ^FMy wife Juanita and our 14 kids Friends you ^Ccannot believe the refunds they have been ^Gworth But it was ^Cyears ago that I got this idea When I ^Fbought Juanita thru the mail from Korea She's an i^Cnflatable doll, but she ^Gcame with a certificate of ^Cbirth

I was a s^Gingle guy without any deductions So I c^Claimed Juanita and what a reduction I r^Feceived with her as my spouse on the taxes I p^Gay ^CThat worked so well that every year after that I re^Fported a birth when I paid my tax Each kid c^Certified by ^GCabbage Patch US^CA

Oh Jua^Cnita (Juanita) ^FMy inflatable senorita The ^CIRS wants to take you and the children ^Gaway (away-ay-ay-ay) You and J^Cim and Tammy, Lonnie and Burt ^FFarrah, Charro, Michael and Kurt Jan and ^CDean, Irlene, Louise, Ba^Grbara and little ^CRay (little Ray)

So I d^Cressed Juanita like the perfect mother ^FVelcro'd the children to one another And when we w^Calked into that audit those people nearly flipped their ^Glids I said J^Cuanita might lay around and never cook And the ^Fchildren don't clean their rooms and never crack a book But hey ^Cthey ain't no different from my b^Grother's wife and ^Ckids

And I got ^Gsocial security cards here for every one My ^Cwife, my daughters and all of my sons All o^Fffically issued by the government of the US^GA So be^Cfore you call me down to muster ^FSomebody here better think twice buster Do you r^Ceally wanna be the one to accuse the ^Ggovernment of making a bi^Cg mistake

Oh Juan^Cita (Juanita) ^FMy C-oh-2 senorita The ^CIRS wants to take you and the children a^Gway (away-ay-ay-ay) You and ^CJim and Tammy, Lonnie and Burt ^FFarrah, Charro, Michael and Kurt Jan and ^CDean, Irlene, Louise, B^Garbara and little ^CRay (little Ray)

That ^Gagent sat there his mouth agape ^GThinking over that government mistake And how his ^Gcivil service career could be at its e^Cnd

And said ^Fhope the kids do better next year and school And why don't ^Cyou and the missus drop ^Gby and say hello now and ^Cthen

Oh Ju^Canita (Juanita) ^FMy inflatable senorita ^CLooks like you and the kids all get to ^Gstay (stay-ay-ay-ay) ^CWhat's that honey, you need to get home quick? ^FYou say you started feelin' a little sick? And you t^Chink you might once a^Ggain be in a family ^Cway?

^CWhat's that? You think it might be triplets this time? ^F Juanita, you are a w^Conder! Do w^Ghat? Why, of c^Course we can support your mother! I even think her ^Gmoving expenses are deductible too. ^C Does she still live in Bangkok? ^F