Tuning: E A D G B E

Horrible Noise (I Wish I Could Sing...) - justageezer Authors notes: This song is dedicated to anyone, particularly UG members, who find the seemingly simple act of making the right noises at the right times beyond them, or anyone whose singing has been met with mockery and/or derision. You are not alone. This is *your* song. Have at it! The chords can simply be strummed as a guide to the vocals, but for maximum effect the performer should use the most convoluted and intricate pick, with as many flourishes, embellishments and unnecessarily flashy solos as their talent allows. If you sing this and it in any way sounds pleasant, harmonious or even melodious then you're *doing it wrong*. Guitar Key: D for verses, E for choruses. Feel free to transpose to whatever key you're least uncomfortable in. Do NOT tune your instrument before playing. Vocal Key: wandering, like that famous star. BPM: As many as you need. It does mean 'breaths per minute', right? No? Well, still as many as you need. (I thought some of those fast songs made me breathless). 6/8 swung time - or thereabouts. [Intro] | | | | |

^D ^C#m ^Bm ^A ^G ^A7 ^B7 ^C#I'm... ^Dsorry you're ^D7hearing this ^Ghorrible n^Doise, But ^Dreally I ^G7haven't a ^A7choice, This ^Dhorrible n^D7oise that anno^Gys girls and ^G7boys, Is s^Dimply my ^A7natural ^Dvoice. While ^Dothers are g^D7ifted with to^Gnes pure and ^Dsweet, ^DFor such th^G7ings I'm still^A7 waiting, And ^Drather than ^D7vocals n^Gimble and f^Dleet, M^Dine are more ^A7plodding and g^Drating. ^D#Oooh.......

^EI wish, I wish, I ^E7wish I could ^Asing, I'd s^Aing in the wi^A7nter, and ^Esing in the spring, With a ^Espring in my step I'd s^A7ing every^B7thing, I ^B7wish I could ^A7sing just like^E Sting! ^D#Now.........

^DSting has a ^D7voice that is ^Gmellow and s^Dmooth, Meli^Dfluous, m^G7anly and ^A7cool, No ^Dmatter the s^D7tyle he'll f^Gind the right^G7 groove, ^DWhile I just ^A7sound like a ^Dfool. No ^Dmatter how ^D7hard I ^Gtry for a ^Dnote, It a^Dlways seems ^G7just out of ^A7reach, And ^Dif I re^D7ally p^Gush out the ^Dboat, ^DAll I ^A7achieve is a ^Dscreech. ^DMelody? ^D7Harmony? S^Gure, I'm ^Dacquainted; In^D fact, I k^G7now them both ^A7well, ^DMelody's a ^D7stripper who l^Gooks great un^G7painted, And H^Darmony moves ^A7like a gaz^Delle. ^D'Timbre' is ^D7French - Canad^Gian for 't^Dree', And 'pi^Dtch' means do^G7 everything ^A7louder. ^DRhythm's the ^D7capital ^Gof Tennes^Dsee, While ^DTempo's some ^A7kind of soap p^Dowder. ^D#Oooh........

^DPractising's ^D7hard, as I ^Gtry to be ^Dnice, And ^Dlimit the ^G7damage I ^A7cause, So ^Dplease don't ^D7try to p^Glay this trac^G7k twice, it ^Dmay cause ^A7structural ^Dflaws! Not to ^Dmention the ^D7birds that d^Grop from the ^Dsky, And ^Dbabies ^G7born looking ^A7wrong, And ^Dall the ^D7flowers that ^Gwither and ^G7die, When^Dever I ^A7burst into ^Dsong. My ^Dlistener's re^D7actions are ^Galways the ^Dsame, ^DChildren run ^G7screaming in ^A7tears, ^DAdults just w^D7ither, decr^Gepit and ^G7lame, With ^Dblood drippin^A7g out of their^D ears. One ^Dchap did surv^D7ive, (though n^Got for too lo^Dng); It ^Dturned out ^G7he was stone ^A7deaf, Even ^Dhe couldn't ^D7make it throug^Gh one of my ^Dsongs, By the ^Dend just his ^A7deaf ears were^D left. ^D#Ooooh...

^Dmade it this ^D7far then you'r^Ge tougher tha^Dn most, Of the^D folks that ^G7come to my ^A7shows, ^DMost of the f^D7ront row are b^Gasically ^G7toast, And thi^Ds chap's chew^A7ed off his own^D nose. So you'll be ^Dgreatly relie^D7ved that I'm n^Gearing the ^Dend, There's ^Dnot much ^G7more to e^A7ndure, I'm ^Dsorry those i^D7njuries probab^Gly won't mend^D, For my s^Dinging there ^A7isn't a ^Dcure! So

^Dhere ends thi^D7s awesome perf^Gormance I'm g^Diving; I'm ^Dnot sure who ^G7this verse is ^A7for; ^DNone of the a^D7udience are ^Gcurrently ^Dliving, so ^Dsod it, I'm o^A7ff. Where's th^De door...

[drop mic, smash guitar and/or piano, corpse-surf off the stage)

Misc Your Songs - Justageezer - horrible noise i wish i could sing