Misc Your Songs - Chris minton - dishwasher installation blues

^GI’m not a terribly efficient m^F#an, especially when it c^Emomes to washing dishes by h^Cand ^A7and the house I^D lived in only had a sin^Gk ^GI thought what the heck I’ll ^F#even the score, so I wen^Emt to the local hardware stor^Ce ^A7and bought a brand new d^Dishwasher without giving^G it a second think

^GDidn’t figure installing it woul^F#d be that bad, since all^Em I know about plumbing I learned from my^C dad ^A7But then it occurred to ^Dme I’d never seen my fat^Gher plumb ^GOh I’d seen him plumb drunk and ^F#I’d seen him plumb mad, ^Emand when the Wildcats lost he’d get plum^Cb sad ^A7But when it comes to the^D flow of water, we’re bo^Gth kind of dumb

^GBut that didn’t ^F#stop me no sir-ee, so I ^Emshut off the water right after I pee^Cd, ^A7And set out to put t^Dhat Whirlpool in its pla^Gce ^GI took it out of the^F# box and I concluded, th^Emat none of the necessary parts were incl^Cuded, ^A7So I’d have to regroup i^Df I wanted to finish thi^Gs race

^CI’m under water a^Gnd I’m o^F#ver my h^Emead ^A7I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti^Dng hosed instead ^CIt’s enough to make a gr^Gown man ^F#say “oh ^Emmy gosh” ^A7But it’s alright, it’ll all come^D out in ^Gthe wash

^GI went back to the b^F#ig box hardware store, a^Emnd as soon as I walked through the do^Cor, ^A7They must’ve noticed the^D look of confusion on my^G face ^GI was met by a friend^F#ly gal named Marie, who^Em said she’d love to be of assistance to ^Cme, ^A7So I said where can I fi^Dnd the plumbing supplies^G in this place? ^GShe took me back to t^F#he aisle I neede^Emd, and walked away as I proce^Ceded, ^A7To stare in awe at all t^Dhe trinkets on the shelf^{G G}There were valves and pipes ^F#and connectors and such,^Em and to me it seemed like a little bit m^Cuch, ^A7So I stood there trying ^Dto figure out what to do^G with myself

^GI grabbed what ^F#I thought I could use, b^Emut when I got back home I was more confu^Csed, ^A7Because none of the thin^Dgs I’d bought were right^G for the job ^GSo I got in the ^F#car and drove once more,^Em again to that big box hardware sto^Cre, ^A7Intent on prov^Ding to them I wasn’t a ^Gslob

^CI’m under water ^Gand I’m ^F#over my ^Emhead ^A7I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti^Dng hosed instead ^CIt’s enough to make a gr^Gown man ^F#say “oh ^Emmy gosh” ^A7But it’s alright, it’ll all come^D out in ^Gthe wash

^GThis time I w^F#as met in the aisle, by ^Ema lady named Charlotte with a lovely smi^Cle, ^A7And she knew wh^Dat I needed to complete ^Gmy task ^GShe grabbed a fli^F#bberty-jibbet and a thin^Emgamajig, a whozit, a whatzit, and some w^Chirlygigs, ^A7Threw ‘em in my buggy an^Dd said I was ready at la^Gst ^GSo I got back ho^F#me for the umpteenth tim^Eme, in a much better frame of ^Cmind, ^A7And I crawled up under t^Dhe sink to get to w^Gork ^GThe flibberty-j^F#ibbet snapped right in p^Emlace, and the thingamajig was a piece of^C cake, ^A7And I was slowly startin^Dg to feel like less of a^G jerk ^GAfter all the part^F#s were lined out, I took^Em a deep breath because I had no dou^Cbt, ^A7The rest of this install^Dation would be a cin^Gch ^GWhen I shoved the dishwasher int^F#o place, I’d^Em like to have seen the look on m^Cy face, ^A7The dadblamed thing was ^Dtoo tall by half an inch^G

^CI’m under water an^Gd I’m ov^F#er my he^Emad ^A7I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti^Dng hosed instead ^CIt’s enough to make a gr^Gown man ^F#say “oh ^Emmy gosh” ^A7But it’s alright, it’ll all come^D out in ^Gthe wash

^GTo make a long story^F# kind of short, I don’t ^Emneed a dishwasher no mo^Cre, ^A7I solved that problem th^De best way I know ho^Gw ^GI moseyed on back ^F#to the big box mart, thr^Emew a couple of gas cans in my ^Ccart, ^A7Headed back home and bur^Dned my house to the grou^Gnd

^GBut now I’ve go^F#t me a good dishwasher, ^Emand sometimes I sit back and wat^Cch ‘er, ^A7Do her thing^D and make it look so ser^Gene ^GSee I’m living with Charlotte, I^F# made her my wife, and I^Em won’t wash a dish for the rest of my li^Cfe ^A7So I guess you could s^Day I came out cl^Gean