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Tuning: E A D G B E
A really simplified version of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQBgrUObbHw
FI’ll share with you the tale of when DmI met some baggy-trousered gentlemen They spoke with GmflairC and with AmpanachDe GmThey all had beards but Cno moustC7ache
FThey had a book called the Qur'an Dmcontaining some divine and cosmic plan And then I GmcringedC in Amfear and Ddread as Gmone closed up his Cbook and C7said
FJust do it, just do it Do it before you die C7Join Islam, come on man FDon't upset the man in the sky BbThe consequences are dire You'll rFeally piss him off and then he'll D7burn you in the fire G7Just do it,C7 just do it Fnow!
FSo I said: I can't do it, I can't do it C7I really don't believe in God Your passion and your fashion FI really think are really rather odd BbNo derision It's my decision and I Fdon't like the idea of a D7circumcision G7I won’t do it. C7I won’t join FIslam.
FAnd they said: Join Islam Read the Qur'an C7Linguistically it’s sublime I’ve checked and It’s perfect FIn every way and for all time BbIt’s righteous It has no likeness Here’s a Fverse with forty-two D7rhetorical devices G7Join Islam CJust do it Fnow!
FAnd I said: I can’t do it I can’t do it C7I’ve never felt the need to pray On a carpet with a view of men’s arses FI’m sorry I don’t pray that way BbI’m at a disadvantage I can’t read the language All I Fwant is lager and a bacon D7sandwich G7I can’t do it CI won’t join FIslam
FAnd he said: I won’t boast but first and foremost ask yourself what if you’re C7wrong. You believe that something came from nothing? FMy faith could never be that strong! BbIt’s not pragmatic It’s un-Quranic FIt violates the second law of therD7modynamics G7Think about it. CBut don't take to Flong!
FAnd I said: I can’t do it I can’t do it Not without some eviC7dence I’m not biassed Just give me science FNone of you are making sense BbIt’s not for me, man Leave me be, man I’d Frather pour a glass and drink my dD7addy’s semen G7I can’t do it. C7I won’t join FIslam
FAnd they said: "Brother makes a good point" Join islam But only if you feel C7inclined Our obsession is freedom of expression Just say whatever’s on your mind BbIt’s splendid We commend it, But Fwe reserve the right to never D7be offended G7Join islam, CJoin islam Fnow
FAnd I said: I can’t do it I can’t do it I C7believe in equality It’s a given: rights for women Fhave no place in your ideology BbNo integration No education The Fonly thing your females get isD7 genital mutilation G7That’s final CI won’t join FIslam
FAnd they said: Join Islam Just do it The C7moment is so opportune Our practice: To blacklist Fevery novel and cartoon BbKeep silent We’re strident, We’ll Fchop the head off anyone who D7says we’re violent, G7Join Islam ,CJust do it FNOW!
FAnd I said: I can’t do it I can’t do it C7Censorship I Despise It’s fair to declare the Funiversal right to criticize
BbI don’t want Sharia round here I’d Frather pack my bags and move to D7North Korea G7I won’t do it CI won’t join FIslam
FAnd they said: Join Islam Just do it C7Western women are all whores Here’s my sister No man has kissed her FJoin us and she’ll be all yours BbShe’s no shirker A real hard worker She’ll sFhow you everything she’s got beneD7ath her burqa G7Just do it! CJoin Islam Fnow!
FAnd I said: N.CALRIGHT!! FI’ll do it I’m a C7red-blooded male It’s intriguing I’m pleading Fto find out what’s behind her veil BbTo Allah I give my shahada I’m Fin a state of frenzy and a lD7ustful lather G7I’ll do it! CI’ll do it Fnow!
FI’ve done it I’m ready C7to bang her like a man possessed oh! I’m burning I’m yearning FAs she slowly gets undressed Uh oh! BbI stammer I piss my pyjamas Cos sFhe’s bog-eyed and her face is like a D7bag of hammers G7I can’t do it, CI wanna leave FIslam!
FAllahu akbar, It says here C7Terms and conditions apply One small penalty for apostasy FLeave and you must die
BbThere's no compulsion in religion But Frevoking your shahada gets youD7 crucifixion G7You've done it CYou've done it Fnow!