Misc Unsigned Bands - Casting call for a best friend

I ^Bbmet this girl she’s really nice Her n^Bbame is Sarah Hertsonweiss She l^Gmooks a lot like me But that d^Bbress kind of makes her look fat And if^Eb I were her I’d hide my^F hair in my hat

I ^Bbmet this girl shes really cute Shes ^Bbreally talented to boot Her n^Gmame is Petulia I h^Bbear that shes a great actor Too ^Ebbad she uses imi^Ftation max factor

There can o^Bbnly be one of my type in this town And its ^Fbad enough that I am s^Bbhort There can ^Bbonly be one still st^Ebanding her ground ^FAfter the coroners re^Bbport

I ^Bbmet this girl who’s really nice I bet ^Bbthat she’s got pubic lice She ^Gmgot from her ex Boyfriend Or ^Gmjust because shes a ^Bbwhore A d^Ebirty ugly w^Fhore

I ^Bbmet this girl who’s really cute ^BbWith a face id like to shoot Shes alw^Gmays taking my parts Well at l^Gmeast I can sing on ^Bbkey ^EbLalalalala l^Fook at me

There can o^Bbnly be one ingenue’s best friend And I’m ^Fgonna get cast in this^Bb show There can o^Bbnly be one left a^Eblive in the end And I’ll^F tell you how far I wil^Bbl go

I will ^Gmgo to her agent and tell them she’s pregnant ^DCreate a few nasty detours

I will ^Gmgo to the office and f^Ebile a report That she’s been^F taking non-equity tours

I will bl^Ebacklist her name and s^Bbay she hates gays Tell her ma^Dnager she’s shopping ^Gmaround

I will p^Fost nude pics of h^Gmer on the web Cau’se^A horse face you’re so goi^Bbng down

I h^Fate you ^Ebso damn m^Fuch Please d^Bbie

And w^Bbhen the smoke has cleared away ^BbOn that happy day of days When ^BbI’m on broadway And ^Gmall my dreams are r^Bbevealed They’ll^Eb find what’s left of you^Fr head in a field

^BbWhy do they all have to move in next door can’t they^F just take a hint and get^Bb goin? ^BbJust when your champagne’s ready to pour ^DSome bitch of a whore gets her f^Gmoot in the door ^FRight when you get a to^Bbe in There can o^Bnly be one of me in this town And I’m^F# sticking my neck out in^G#m front There can on^Bly be one still sta^Ending her ground ^F#You fat friggin cow of a cuuu...aann we play s^Bisters? Oh s^D#ure! That’d be^G#m fine But you be^Btter watch your back you b^Eig stupid bitch (silence) B Cause ill be watching you every line