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Tuning: E A D G B E
Adam: You called for me, boss? Mallory: Oh yes, thank you so much for coming in. Ah, listen, so you're a really great worker and a nice guy.. Adam: Oh, thanks. Mallory: We have to uh... we have to let you uh... Adam: What are you saying? Mallory: I mean we have to fire... You know what? Let me just sing this to you. Adam: No, I don't really think that would help. Mallory: Oh no, it will definitely help, this is gonna be really good, so...
DEverything sounds nicer when you sing When you sing When you sing When you sing As long as it sounds pretty you can sing Evil Gthings Nasty things Violent Dthings You can tell your grandma, it's time to Aput her in a home DDump your boyfriend, say he's gonna die alone A

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James:That's a pretty song, Mal. Mallory: Hey James, hey. James: Hey.

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Mallory: I'm dumping you. James: What?!
I mean DI'm dumping you As long as you are singing, they Gcan't trace That you just insulted Dthem to their face

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Mallory: Like take Jason here for example, if I just say to him "I want to hurt you", it comes off a little threatening, but if I sang it in a jazzy voice:
DI want to Gkick you Ain the head DEverything sounds nicer to music And it Ghelps that Jason here's an Didiot.

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Mallory: Just imagine if doctors used this tactic when diagnosing their patients. Stacey: Look, you have one week to live.

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Matt: What?! I am suing you. Mallory: Here doc, let me try.
DSince your surgery you've been Ainfected through and Dthrough Because this stupid doctor left his iPod inside you. GYou can tell your friend that she looks Aawful in those pants And Dadmit you never Cever wash your hands I hope you don't mind Aruining that Dblazer Security's coming Cand they're bringing tasers. Because Dyou are Afired! (AFired! DFired!) DYou didn't do anything wrong! You're just GfireAd! (AFired! DFired!) DYou are Gfired! (AFired! DFired!)
Just 'cause we don't like your face
You are Gfired! (Fired! Fired!) And you're not Dgetting severance pay.