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Tuning: E A D G B E
[Intro]
E B7 (hBold) E (Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
[Verse 1]
ARCHIBALD One dEay while he was waiting for the trolley He had a hEat LARRY My high silk hEat ARCHIBALD He wEore it high upon his head so proudly A beautiful hEat LARRY My high silk hat ARCHIBALD A G#mhat, like this just makes him feel so grandly Now fancy this, and fancy that The spBlendor of his hat in all its majesty LARRY Like a king, in a royal cap!
[Chorus]
I fBeel so swell and handsome in my hat I bet that others wish they had in fEact BOTH A hat as G#m/D#this, a hat as C#mthat, A hat so Caugfine, a high silk C#mhat… E/B (LARRY) Oh AMr. Art BigBotti, now what do you think of thEat?
E (Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum) [Verse 2]
ARCHIBALD Now his hEat was not all he wore so proudly I must in fEact, share more than that For upEon his lap there sat a treat so fondly Of chocolate tEhis LARRY And chocolate that ARCHIBALD DelG#miciousness that makes him feel so dandy A chocolate bG#mliss LARRY A chocolate snack CHOIR ConBfections such as these are more than candy Somewhat like life, a box of that
[Chorus 2]
LARRY I hBave my chocolate placed upon my lap I feel so good you just cannot top tEhat I have my G#m/D#snack, a chocolC#mate pack, Of chocolate Caugthis and chocolate C#mthat… E/B Oh goAlly Mr. NBezzer, now what do you think of Ethat?
E F (Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum) --- KEY CHANGE --- [Verse 3]
ARCHIBALD Now tFime was passing and the sun grew hotter Upon his hFat CHOIR And chocolate snFack ARCHIBALD So benFeath his hat he thought and pondered. LARRY What should I do, to save my hat? ARCHIBALD He tAmhought, and contemplated as he perspired Beneath his Amhat CHOIR Upon his lap ARCHIBALD He fCeared his chocolate treats would soon retire Into a pCool CHOIR A chocolate vat
[Chorus 3]
LARRY I wCon’t feel grand if I take off my hat The sun's gettin' hot and my hat just might go fFlat. My Am/Ehat, it might go Dmflat, And my C#augsweets will melt like tDmhat… F/B Oh hA#urry Mr. TCrolley before my dapperness goes flFat F (Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
[Verse 4]
ARCHIBALD He decFided to forego his looks so dashing To save his hFat PEA And little sFnack! ARCHIBALD So he pFlaced the treats upon the seat beside him NEZZER And placed his hat on top of that LARRY Oh pAmlease (Oh please, Oh please) Don’t anybAmody, sit close to me (sit close to me) Upon my hat (upon my hat) I aCsk, if all of you could be so kindly And just stand bCack Away from my snack!
[Final Chorus]
A grCeat big squash just sat upon my hat! A great big squash just squished my hat real fFlat! He squashed myAm/E hat, he made it Dmflat, He squished my C#augsnack, oh what of Dmthat F/B Oh tA#ell me anybCody now what do you think of tFhat?
CROWD
A grCeat big squash just sat upon his hat! A great big enormous squash squished his hat real fFlat! He squashed hisAm/E hat, he made it Dmflat, He squished his C#augsnack, oh what of tDmhat!....
(Trolley comes "ding ding")
LARRY

N.C

Oh golly… uh… what is your name? SCALLION

N.C

They’ve never given me a name. I've been around since show one and I still don't have a name.
LARRY A# C Now what do you think of tFhat?