Jonathan Coulton - Kenesaw mountain landis

^DKenesaw Mountain Landis was a ^Gbad mother fucker He was ^Dseventeen feet tall, he had a ^Emhundred and fifty ^A7wives He ^Ddidn't do that much except he ^Gsaved the game of baseball He put ^Dtwo and two to^Ggether and he ^Dnoticed it was ^A7four Now the ^Dtreachery of ^GShoeless Joe can't ^Dhurt us any^A7more D G A7 D A(break) And he'll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis

^DFellow named Joe Jackson was a ^Gfielder for the Black Sox And he ^Dalways wore his black socks, but he ^Emnever wore no ^A7shoes He ^Dweren't the nicest fellow and he ^Ghad a couple problems Cause he ^Ddrank a lot and he ^Gbeat his wife and he ^Dalways acted ^A7rude He ^Dkilled and ate some ^Gbabies and he ^Dcopped an ^A7attitude D G A7 D A(break) And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis

^BmMafia said Shoeless Joe ^F#You should really run this show ^DYou should be the guy who owns baseball And ^Bmall you really gotta do Is ^F#help us make a buck or two ^DWe'll bet on the ^Gother ^A7team You'll ^Dlose the game but ^Gmake it ^A7seem Like ^Dnothing could be ^Gfurther from the ^A7truth

^DShoeless Joe did what they said he ^Gdropped a couple fly balls And he ^Dwalked up to the pitcher and he ^Empoked him in the ^A7eye And ^Din the seventh inning with the ^GBlack Sox nearly beaten There was ^Dsomeone who was ^Gwatching from his ^Dblimp above the ^A7stands ^DCradling a ^Grifle in his ^Dthick and meaty ^A7hands D G A D A(break) And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis

^BmKenesaw said drop that glove ^F#Or I swear by God above ^DI'll make you regret playing baseball ^BmShoeless Joe looked up and saw ^F#The silver rifle's gaping maw ^DThough no one had ^Gnoticed ^A7yet His ^Dunderwear was ^Ggetting ^A7wet He ^Dpeed himself in ^Gfront of every^A7one

^DShoeless Joe was finished but he ^Gcouldn't quite admit it So he ^Draised his middle finger up a^Embove the other ^A7four ^DKenesaw took careful aim and ^Gfired a single bullet And he ^Dshot that dirty ^Gfinger off and he ^Ddropped his trusty ^A7gun And ^Deverybody ^Gin the stands ^Dknew that he had ^A7won And ^Dtoday they still refer to him as ^GKenesaw ^A7Mountain ^DLandis

^DShoeless Joe left baseball and ^Gbecame a famous pop star And he ^Dasked the musical question is she ^Emreally going ^A7out with ^Dhim He had a couple albums and a ^Gcomeback in the 80's But he ^Dnever won a ^GGrammy and he ^Dnever was the ^A7same And he ^Dnever could be ^Gsatisfied with ^Dcritical ac^A7claim Cause the ^Dcritics all confused him with the ^Ggreat ^A7Elvis Co^Dstello^A7 Yes the ^Dcritics all confused him with the ^Ggreat El^A7vis Co^Dstello