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Tuning: E A D G B E
This entire song is spoken(and yelled in the CAPS section). Alternate bass notes are used throughout with simple bass notes leading into the G(d-e-f#-G) and C(g-a-b-C) chord changes. [Verse]
GWell, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas CWas drinkin' Colorado Cool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans DAn' we was, what's that you say? GWhat's Colorado Cool-Aid? GWell, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream CIt'll set your head on fire an' make your kidneys scream DOh, it sure is fine GYeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times GBut you know just as sure as any beer joint you've ever been in CThere's some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friends DYeah, he wants to fight GHe's gonna whip everything in sight GWell, he took him a big cold swallow of beer CAnd he walked over and spit in my Mexican friends ear DSure enough - that made my buddy real mad GThat's somethin' like he ain't never had GWell, Sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife CQuick as a whistle he began to slice DThat big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears GLookin' down at the floor, at one of his ears GHa, he cut that thing off even with the sideburns CWell, ya might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a dern But Dhe was a gentleman about it - An' bent over and with a half way grin GPicked it up and handed it back to him GHe said, "Now big man, the next time you get the urge to spit a little beer CYou just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear DWon't be no trouble that way", that's what I heard him say GAnd I said, "Barmaid, Gset us up Ca round of that Colorado Cool-Aid DAnd while you're up there, bring this big fella here, a box of Bandaids" GNow let me tell you Gif you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas CAnd you decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Cool-Aid An' Dmaybe talk to some Mexicans GAn' you get the urge to get a little tough GBetter make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muffs CHey, ain't that right, big man? DI SAID, AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BIG MAN? GAh, hell - he can't hear, Gnot on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear! CHey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Cool-Aid DHow about it? GHow you doin' there, big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?