Half Man Half Biscuit - Twenty four hour garage people

^C I ^Ffancy I'll open a ^Cstationers, ^Fstock quaint notepads for ^Cweekend pagans ^FWhile you were out at the ^CRollright stones, I ^G7came and set fire to your ^Cshed

'Cos you ^Cprobably work at an all night garage You ^Fprobably work at an ^Call night garage You probably work at an all night garage with ^G7talk radio ^Con.

^FCurse my soul 'cos I^C don't want petrol I only came down for a tube of Pringles, ^G7sour cream and ^Cchives.

^CAnd because you've got to get up off your fat arse to go and get my crisps And you've got to go 'round the counter and it's really inconvenient And when you come back you toss them into that sliding metal tray device Thing that separates us, and you say "one pound thirty five". As opposed to "that'll be one pound thirty five please sir" This is of course done to annoy me but has the opposite effect Of amusing me no end, because suddenly I've got other things to buy.

^CI'll have two scotch eggs and a jar of Marmite ^FTwo scotch eggs and a ^Cjar of Marmite Two scotch eggs and a jar of Marmite,^G7 what sandwiches have you ^Cgot?

^CWell now you become quite irate and your voice becomes louder And you start to sound like Leadbelly at the depot.

^CI'll have ten Kit-Kat's and a motoring atlas ^FTen Kit-Kat's and a ^Cmotoring atlas And a blue CD on the Hallmark label -^G7 that's sure to be ^Cgood.

^COh he went to play golf of a Sunday morn just a ^G7mile and a half from ^Ctown His head was found on the driving range and his ^G7body has never been ^Cfound.