Half Man Half Biscuit - The Coroners Footnote
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V1.
GThere's a girl leaving town for the Csunshine
She's Gheading out to Happiness DBay
She's Ggoing first thing in the Cmorning
And Ghopes to be D7there by midGday
Her flavoursome buck is awCaiting
GLaden with fraudulent Dcharms
EnoGugh for to plunge a Cdoe such as she
Straight Ginto his D7dastardly Garms
But the Dtragedy lies in the Gbackground
For a Dyoung man by Amwhom she's adDored
Is Gplanning to throw himself Cunder
The Gtrain she's intD7ending to Gboard.
V2.
Now the fates may look down and show mercy
And answer a poor mother's call
And the service soon after departing
May stop for no reason at all
And the young girl may come to her senses
And the wretch may get tetchy and leave
And the chap wracked with anguish incarnate
May gladly accept his reprieve
But the fates around these parts are ruthless
And sometimes just want people dead
So he'll probably throw himself under
The ten twenty seven instead.
V3.
Now the engine is leaving the station
The cow has been scraped from the line
And two letters by way of explanation
Have been written for those left behind
And should there develop high drama
Upon which an inquest is heard
You may like to curb your lamenting
Until you've all heard the last word
Well he thought of a love unrequited
And he thought of a life full of pain
It's a pity he didn't spare a thought for
The poor bastard driving the train.