Half Man Half Biscuit - The bane of constance

^D“Come now, Vince” she said, “we can^A’t continue in this way ^DSeems to me there’s something on you^Ar mind. Should ^DI accept a ride in a tiny ^Acraft about your head ^DTell me, Vince, the truth what would I ^Afind?”

^GHorse-drawn yawns upon the driveway, ^DVictory V ice cream in stock ^CEintracht Oblong,^G I should oil my ^Dchain. ^GOur front door is Sagittarius, ^DTibor's kids are underfed And ^CHeswall Flower Club,^G owe me one pound ^Dtwelve.^A

^DThis is what you’d find if you wer^Ae in that craft today ^DDoubtless different were you to re^Aturn. I ^Dwould not blame you in the least if ^Ayou cut short the flight ^DMake good your escape it’s not your c^Aoncern.

^GWhere’s the beetroot? Where the ibex^D? Dubbing mixer Freddie Slade ^CAlpine lockjaw,^G it was on the ^Dcards. ^GCan I buy inflatable dic^Dtators anywhere round here? ^CIron Age mums are ^Ghaunting my ca^Dgoule.^{A D G D G D G D A}

^DDo stew, scoop off the roadkill. ^{C G D}Straight sets, jet wash the Viceroy.^{C G D}Sore heel, shite on the back nine. ^{C G D}Midge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^{C G}

I said ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief.^{C G} Come on, ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^CYou’re a fine lookin^Gg woman, Mirabelle. ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^CYou still with that ^Gchiseller Idris? ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^CHey, he’s got the ginger beer c^Goncession outside the British Museum.

^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^CWe should go to ^GHalfords some time. ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief. ^CYou and me ^G– not him. ^DMidge Ure looks like a milk thief.^{C G} D C G (fade) Midge Ure looks like a milk thief.