Half Man Half Biscuit - On finding the studio banjo

^GUnemployment’s rising in the ^CChigley end of ^Gtown It’s spreading like pneumonia Doesn’t ^Clook like going ^Gdown There’s trouble at the fire station ^Csomeone’s had the ^Gsack And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get ^Crid of Captain ^GFlack

Tell PC McGarry to ^Cget himself a ^Gmate And arm themselves with CS gas They’re ^Cgonna be out ^Glate We’ve had Cant conformism since ^C196^G6 And now subversion’s in the air in the ^Cshape of flying ^Gbricks

Someone get a message through to ^DCaptain ^GSnort That they’d better start assembling the ^Dboys from the ^Gfort And keep Mrs Honeyman ^Dright out of ^Gsight ‘Cos there’s going to be a riot down in ^DTrumpton to^Gnight

All this aristocracy has ^Creally got to ^Gstop We can overthrow the surgery and ^Ckidnap Dr ^GMopp And Chippy Minton’s Socialists could ^Cstorm the Market ^GSquare And make plans to assassinate our ^Cautocratic ^GMayor

Windy Militant leads his Basque-like ^Ccorn grinders to ^Gwar With windmill sails and bombs with nails they ^Csmash the town hall ^Gdoor But Snorty and his boys arrive with ^Cone big erstwhile ^Gcrew Whereupon they bring about a ^Cmilitary ^Gcoup

Someone get a message through to ^DCaptain ^GSnort That they’d better start assembling the ^Dboys from the ^Gfort And keep Mrs Honeyman ^Dright out of ^Gsight ‘Cos there’s going to be a riot down in ^DTrumpton to^Gnight ^{G C G}