Half Man Half Biscuit - National shite day

^DPulling the ice axe ^Amfrom my leg, I ^Cstaggered on ^FSpindrift ^Dstinging my remaining ^Ameye ^{C F} I ^Dfinally managed to ^Amreach the station ^COnly to find that the ^Fbus replacement service had ^Dbroken down^{Am C F} After ^Dwondering to myself ^Amwhether or not it should ^CActually be called a ^Ftrain replacement service I ^Dwalked out onto the ^Amconcourse And ^Cnoticed the giant ^Fscreen seemed to have been ^Dtampered with ^AmProbably by a ^Cjunior employee^F. ^DDisgruntled com^Ammuters were being reg^Caled with some dismal TV^FM In^Dvolving a tug-of-love ^Amcustody battle^C; ^FStockard Channing ^Dheld sway.^{Am C F D Am C F D}Down in the High Street ^Amsomebody careered out of ^CBoots Without due ^Fcare or attention I ^Dsuggest that they ^Amlearn some pedestrian ^Cetiquette ^FI.e. sidle ^Dout of the store gingerl^Amy - ^Cembrace the ^Fmargin.^{D Am C F D}Fat kids with ^Amsausage rolls, ^Cpoor sods cond^Fucting polls.^{D Am C F} There's a ^Dman with a mullet going ^Ammad with a mallet in ^CMillets^F. ^{D Am C F D}I try to put everything into ^Amperspective, ^CSet it against the scale of human ^Fsuffering ^DAnd I thought of the Mu^Amgabe government And the ^Cchildren of the Calcutta ^Frailways ^DThis works for a ^Amwhile but then I en^Ccounter Primark F^FM ^DOverhead a ^Amrainbow ap^Cpears ^F- in black and ^Ewhite. ^DShite ^AmDay^C, I guess this ^Fmust be National ^DShite ^AmDay^C This surely ^Fmust be National ^DShite ^AmDay^C F D Am C F (Inst D Am C F x8) Don't tell me it's National Shite Day. ^DFloat^Am, ^C float ^Fon. ^DFloat,^{Am C} float ^Fon ^{D Am C F D}Barry^{Am C F D}Herpes^Am. ^{C F D}I got a letter from ^AmStringy Bob ^C"Still on suicide wa^Ftch, screws not happy. ^DSpotted a Marsh Frit^Amillary during Associ^Cation Was ^Froundly ignored;^D what news you'&^Amquo^Ct;^{F D}I felt sorry for him^Am He'd only been locked up for ^Cpublic nuisance of^Ffences ^DOne of which saw him beach^Amcombing the Dee Estua^Cry Found a dead ^Fwading bird, ^Dtook it home, ^Amparcelled it up And ^Csent it off to the rubber-faced ^Firritant Phil Cool ^DWith a note inside which ^Amread: &^Cquot;Is this your Sander^Flin^Dg'^Am&qu^Cot^F; ^DAnother time saw him ^Amanswering an advert in the ^Cmusic press^{F D}"Keyboard playe^Amr requir^Ced - Do^Fors, Floyd, etc. ^DMust be committed^Am; no time waste^Crs&^Fquot; - you can guess^D the^Am re^Cst^F. ^DI'd always im^Amagined he would simply wander ^Coff some day into the ^Fhills ^DTo be found months ^Amlater, his carcass ^Cstripped by homeless ^Fdogs His ^Dexposed skull a ^Amperch for the quartering ^Ccrow^{F D Am C F} I ^Dfolded away the letter and ^Amput it in my inside ^Cpocket^{F D}All of a sudden I ^Amfelt brushed by the wings of something ^Cdark^{F D Am C F D}May the Lord have ^Ammercy on Stringy ^CBob.^{F E D}Shite ^AmDay^C, I do bel^Fieve it's National ^DShite ^AmDay ^C It all ^Fpoints to National ^DShite ^AmDay^C Someone's de^Fclared it National ^DShite ^AmDay^C. ^{F E D}Shite ^AmDay^C, my birth^Fday on National ^DShite ^AmDay ^C No bog ^Froll, it's National ^DShite ^AmDay^C F D Am C F (D Am C F to fade) Cue drum roll, it's National Shite Day.