^EKeeper you've just made a decent save So why d'you feel the need to rant and rave' ^AScreaming at defenders makes you look dead stupid Especially when they haven't done much ^Ewrong. ^BPlease ^Acease the ^Etrait.

Thank you to whoever found my purse Also when I fell, the passing nurse

^AAnd when in my coma as I tried to bludgeon Chartist demonstrators in the ^Esquare. ^BThose ^Aon the ^Eward, ^Byours ^Amuch res^Etored.

I disagree entirely with your choice Peetie Wheatstraw has a better voice

I'd ^Alike to warn your readers; Stapeley Water Gardens A nice day out but best to take a ^Eflask. ^BDear ^AMiss Mc^EVeigh, it ^Bpains ^Ame to ^Esay The ^Bschool ^Achoir was ^Edull and the ^Bblame ^Alies with ^Eyou.

Sewage farm an absolute disgrace Picnic table somewhat out of place

^ALeisure Centre cashpoint always out of order And there's too much chlorine in the ^Epool. ^BThir^Ateen ac^Eross - ^Bwhere ^Awas the ^Eclue' ^BBird ^Aon the ^Ewire - ^BLen, ^Ayou're the ^Edogs.

Half Man Half Biscuit - Letters sent