Half Man Half Biscuit - Harsh times in umberstone covert

^FGeraldine, Geraldine, it’s just a selling plate;^Bb nobody ^Ccares ^F Don’t be so self-conscious,^Bb what became of the ^Ccarefree you? The ^Gmone who would whistle to^C Throbbing Gristle through ^Gm Harsh times in ^CUmberstone ^C7Covert. ^FScoffing at the notion^Bb of a shoulder to ^Ccry on,^F the very thought^Bb of a rock to re^Cly on As^Gmtonishing therefore to ^Clook at you now, ^Gmbitter as the gall, ^Creaching for the ^C7mainland.

^F I will ^Bbmend you,^C and I will ^Ftend to you ^Bb Take it as ^Cread^A with a needle and ^Bbthread ^F When you’re falling a^Bbpart at the ^Fseams^Bb I will ^Cmake that ^C7stich in ^Ftime.^{B Bb F B Bb}

C-c-c-^Fcavalcades, accolades, giddy escapades,^Bb do you re^Ccall ^F Cheap mischief most Tuesday’s ^Bb– Emma Rollahead a^Cvoids you still ^Gm Sour faced she ^Cpicked out the gherkins,^Gm saw Christ in ^CDorothy ^C7Perkins ^F Oh Geraldine^Bb, we were so laissez-^Cfaire,^F every other day^Bb was a non-sequi^Ctur. ^GmHadron Collider,^C who’s there?^Gm Knock knock ^{C C7}

^F I’ll re^Bbpair you,^C be right ^Fthere for you ^Bb At the end of the ^Cbed,^A reupholstering your ^Bbhead ^F When events are un^Bbfolding in^Fside^Bb I’m on ^Chand to ^C7cast your ^Fmind.

^CGeraldine, ^BbGeraldine, ^FGeraldine ^CGeraldine, ^BbGeraldine, ^FGeraldine ^C Your problems ^Bb– I’ll treat them as ^Fmine ^C Tomorrow morning^Bb everything will be ^Ffine ^C Jean Greenhowe^Bb shall grant us a ^Fpardon ^C We’ll eat Battenberg^Bb and stare at the ^Fgarden ^CGeraldine, ^BbGeraldine, ^FGeraldine ^CGeraldine, ^BbGeraldine, oh ^FGeraldine ^CGeraldine, oh ^BbGeraldine. ^{B Bb B Bb B Bb F}