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Tuning: E A D G B E
Ebsus4Billy The Mountain Ebsus4Billy The Mountain
N.C.A regular picturesque N.C.Postcardy mountain
N.C.Residing between lovely N.C.Rosamond and Gorman
N.C.With his stunning wife ETHELL, Eb5A tree!
Eb5A tree! N.C.BILLY was a mountain
N.C.ETHELL was a tree N.C.Growing off of his shoulder
N.C.BILLY was a mountain N.C.[BILLY was a mountain!]
N.C.ETHELL was a tree N.C.Growing off of his shoulder
N.C.[ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder] N.C.[hey, hey hey!]
AbBilly had two big caves for eyes, GWith a cliff for a jaw that would go up 'n down,
F#And whenever it did he'd puff out some dust, And BhackBb5 up Ba Bb5boulAb5der [HACK!]
BHackBb5 up Ba Bb5boulAb5der [HACK! HACK!]
BHackBb5 up Ba Bb5boulAb5der [HACK! HACK! HACK!] Up a boulder
N.C.Now, one day, now I believe it was on a Tuesday, a man in a checkered double-knit suit drove up in a large El N.C.Dorado Cadillac, leased from BOB SPREEN... [where the freeways meet in Downey]
N.C.And he laid a HUGE, BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his 'foot' was supposed to be.
N.C.Now, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it! All those postcards he'd posed for, for ALL OF THOSE YEARS, N.C. and finally, now, AT LAST, his Royalties!
N.C.Royalties! N.C.Royalties . . .
N.C.Royalties! N.C.Royalty check is in, honey!
Yes, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was Ab5RICH! Ab5Yes, and his eyeball-caves, they widened in amazement, and his jaw [which was a cliff], well it dropped thirty feet!
N.C.A bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up, [hack! hack!] crushing 'The LINCOLN'! I Abgave him the money
He Bbacted real funny He Dbhocked up a rock and
ItDb TOCTALLED Bbmy Abcar! Oh, do you Abknow any trucks
Might be Bbbound for THE VALLEY? I don't Dbwanna stand here All Dbnight Cin BbthisAb bar [Dear Lord]
IDb don't wanna stand here All Dbnight Cin Bbthis bAbar [No shit!]
I Dbdon't wanna stand here DbAll night in this Ebbar!
N.C.By two o'clock, when the bars are already closed down, BILLY had broken 'THE BIG NEWS' to ETHELL. N.C.And with dust and boulders everywhere, BILLY, choked with excitement, announced . . .
N.C."ETHELL, we're going on a VACATION!" N.C.Yes, and they WERE going on a vacation! [Oh, and ETHELL, ETHELL, ETHELL, like every little woman,
N.C.she of course was very excited! She creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her.] N.C.BILLY told ETHELL they were going to . . .
Ab G
N.C.Yes! They were going to NEW YORK! N.C."ETHELL, we're going to . . . New York!"
N.C.But first they were gonna stop in LAS VEGAS . . . AbIt's off to LAS VEGAS
to Bbcheck out the lounges DbPull a few handles,
And Dbdrink Ca fBbew beAbers, [Oh, ETHELL!]
AbETHELL, my darling, you Bbknow that I love you!
I'm Dbglad we could have a DbVacatiCon Bbthis yAbear! [Oh, NEET-O!]
DbGlad we could have a DbVacation this Ebyear!
F G [repeat this section] They left that night, crunchin' across the Mojave Desert . . . their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds [POO-AAH!] "ETHELL, wanna get a cuppa cawfee?" [Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's!] "Ahhh! there's a HOWARD JOHNSONS! Wanna eat some CLAMS?"
AbThe first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE . . . AbAnd TO THIS VERY DAY, 'Wing Nuts' and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that
Abfateful night when TEST STAND #1 and THE ROCKET SLED ITSELF . . . [We have ignition!] . . . gN.C.ot LUNCHED! I said LUNCHED! [Lunched!] By a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE.