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[Verse 1]
TGhere's a voice on the G/F#phone telling wEmhat had happened, some kind of cConfusion more like a dD7isaster. And it wGondered howG/F# you were leftEm unaffected, but you had no kCnowledge. No, the chemicals cD7overed you. So a jGury was G/F#formed as more lEmiquor was poured. No need for coCnviction, they're not thirsting for jD7ustice. But I sGlept with the G/F#lies I keep iEmnside my head. I found out I was gCuilty. I found out I was gD7uilty. But I wGon't be aG/F#round for the sEmentencing, cause I'm lCeaving on the next D7airplane.
[Chorus 1]
And tChough I know that my aD7ctions are imGpossible to juBmstify they seem aCdequate to fD7ill up my tiGme. But if I could tCalk to mD7yself like I Bmwas someone eEmlse, well then mCaybe I could tD7ake your adGvice, and I wouldn'tC act like such an aDsshole all the tGime.
[Verse 2]
There's a fGilm on the G/F#wall, makes the Empeople look small who are sitting bCeside it, all consumed in the dD7rama. They must Greturn to their G/F#lives once the hEmero has died. They will drive to the oCffice stopping somewhere for cD7offee, where the fGolk singers, pG/F#oets and plEmaywrights convene, dispensing their Cwisdom, Oh dear amateur oD7rators. They will dGetail their G/F#pain In some sEmtandard refrain. They will recite their sCadness Like it's some kind of cD7ontest.
[Bridge]
Well, if it F#is, I think I am wBminning it, All beaming with cGonfidence as I mAake my final lap. The gold medal gF#leams so hang it aBmround my neck cause I am dGeserving it: the champion of iAdiots.
[Chorus 2]
But a kCid carries his wD7alkman on that loGng bus ride to OmBmaha. I know a gCirl who cries when she pD7ractices viGolin. Cause each nCote sounds so pD7ure, it just cuBmts into heEmr, and then the mCelody comes pD7ouring out her eGyes. Bm Em Now to me, Ceverything else, it just sD7ounds like a liGe