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C F C/G Em
It's abouCt all thFe sad stuffC/G. Just pictuEmre a depressed onion cutting itself. C F C/G Em C F C/G Em
I met a Chomeless man named FRich CIsn't that Gterrible' I saw a fClyer for a lost Fdog And the Amdog didn't have any leEmgs I saw a dCiabetic kFid trAmick-or-Gtreating I saCw a giraffe whoF had a short neck AmThat was sad,G or a deer
EI saw an Fold man get Chit by a Gtrain He didn't Esee it in the pouring rFain He didn't hCear me shout, "Look out for Gthe train!E"
Because I didn't say anything. C F C/G Em
CI justF thought C/Gto myself, &Emquot;Ooh, this is gonna be sad." C F C/GAnd it Emwas. C FI'm aC/G geniusEm.
I saw a Cman with only one eye F CIn a 3D Gmovie I saw a Clittle boy drop his ice crFeam cone AmDirectly on his mother's corpEmse I saw a Ckitten stuck in a tFree Then the Amkitten jumped off and he Ghung himself I saw a boCy who had redF hair. Am G
EI went to a Fstore looking for Csomething to Gbuy But they only sold paEintings of the same sad gFuy No, Cwait--this store sells Gmirrors! See what I Edid there' Let's rock! No.C Em F Fm
C Em F Fm C Em F Fm (repeat through spoken section until... C Em F G the last chord progression of spoken section, ending with the G on "I'm a sociopath!".) SPOKEN: The world's so sad, bros. Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism. But I've gotta remember there's good things about it too. Like the fact that none of that's happening to me! Score! Still, though, it's hard not to be sad about it. How do y'all do it' I've been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song; you haven't been sad at all. You've been--you've been happy--no, you've been laughing. That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything. It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world! I mean not for the people that are actually sad, but the people like us that've gotta fucking deal with them all the time. Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public; it's being a hero. The world isn't sad. The world's funny! I'm a sociopath!
I saw an Cold man slip and fFall AmHey, what a f****** Gidiot I saw a Cwoman at her daughter's Ffuneral AmHa ha ha. GClassic comedy. CEverything that once was Fsad AmIs somehow Gfunny now The HColocaust and F9/11 AmThat shit's funny G24/7, cuz ETragedy will be excFlusively jCoked abGout Because my eEmpathy is bumming me Fout C Goodbye, sGadness E Hello jokeCs. F C/G Em C