Billy Connolly - Two little boys in blue

^CNow two little boys had two little toys A whistle and a helmut ^Fblue And when they were wee it was ^Cplain to see ^DWhat they'd grow up into^{G C}They were hittin' other weans, bashing in their brains And shoppin' everybody ^Ftoo They didn't reform, now they're ^Cin uniform ^GThey're two little boys in blue^C

^CDo you think I could leave you lying When I could lie my arse off ^Ftoo If somebody squawks in the^C witness box ^DI'll cover up for you^{G C}I'll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes The way the sergeant taught us ^Fto Before you count to three we'll be^C off scott free ^GWe're two little boys in blue^C

^CNow the duty sergeant said tuck the prisoners into bed But before you take their cocoa ^Fthrough Keep them in their cells and hit ^Cthem where it tells ^DBut don't leave them black and blue^{G C}You can kick them on their balls, bounce their head off the walls Bash them on the kidneys ^Ftoo Beat them on the legs and thighs ^Cbut don't give them black eyes ^GOr you'll be a prisoner too^C

^CDo you think I could leave you lying When I could lie my arse off ^Ftoo If somebody squawks in the^C witness box ^DI'll cover up for you^{G C}I'll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes The way the sergeant taught us ^Fto Before you count to three we'll be^C off scott free ^GWe're two little boys in blue^C

^CSo if you see them on the beat As they swagger down your street Here's a piece of advice for ^Fyou Don't trust your luck ^Cturn around then run like fuck! ^GFrom the two little boys in blue^C

^CDo you think I could leave you lying When I could lie my arse off ^Ftoo If somebody squawks in the^C witness box ^DI'll cover up for you^{G C}I'll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes The way the sergeant taught us ^Fto Before you count to three we'll be^C off scott free ^GWe're two little boys in blue^C