Stephen Sondheim - The worst pies in london

^AWait! What's your rush? What's your hurry? You gave me such a... fright! I thought you was a ghost! Half a minute, can't ya ^Asit? Sit ya do^Dwn! Sit! All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks Did ya come here for a p^Aie, sir? Do forgive me if me head's a little va^Ague What was that? But you'd think we'd have the plague ^AFrom the way that people keep avoiding No, you do^C#mn't! ^C#mHeaven knows I t^Ary, sir! But there's no one comes in even to inhale ^ARight you ^Fare, sir, would you l^Cike a drop of al^Dme? Mind you I can hardly b^F#mlame them ^C#mThese are probably the wo^F#mrst pies in London ^C#mI know why nobody c^F#mares to take them I should know I m^Eake 'em But g^D#mood? No... The w^Dorst pies ^C#min Lo^F#mndon... ^C#mEven that's polite! The worst pies in Lond^F#mon! If you do^C#mubt it take a bite! Is ^F#mthat just disgusting? You h^C#mave to concede it It's n^Eothing but crusting Here d^Brink this, you'll ne^Ded it The w^C#morst pies in London And no ^C#mwonder with the price of ^Cmeat What it is When you get it Never thought I'd live to see the day Men'd think it was a treat findin' p^Foor animals ^CWhat are dyin' in the street ^FMrs. Mooney ^Ehas a p^Aie shop ^DDoes a b^Ausiness but I notice something we^Aird Lately, all her neighbors cats have dis^Aappeared Have to hand it to her! What I calls ente^Erprise! ^APoppin' pussies into pies! ^C#mWouldn't do in m^Ay shop! Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick No denying times is ^F#mhard, sir! ^C#mEven harder than the ^F#mworst pies in London Only lard and nothing more Is that just revolting? All gre^C#masy and gritty? It lo^Eoks like it's m^Bolting And tastes like... W^Dell, pity A wo^C#mman alone! With limited wind And the w^F#morst p^G#mies in Lon^Bdon! Ah, s^C#mir Times is hard Times is h^F#mard!