Leslie Fish - Bashing the balrog

It is ^Amalways quite foolhardy for a yo^Cung and ill-trained party To ^Dgather at a tavern and to s^Eay We have ^Amhad it with our te^Fachers. Let’s go o^Gff and kill some c^Ereatures, And f^Amind a ton of go^Gld to ha^Eul aw^Amay.

A^Gnd th^Cat is called bashing the b^Galrog. And the ^Ampeople who long to atta^Eck Think, on^Cce they have bashed on the b^Galrog, The b^Falrog will n^Eot bash them b^Amack.

It is ^Amequally foolhardy for that arme^Cd and eager party To ^Dwin one lucky battle and feel ^Esure, We have ^Ampolished off a g^Foblin, But he l^Geft our fighter h^Eobblin’. Perha^Amps this magic p^Gotion i^Es the ^Amcure.

A^Gnd th^Cat can make bashing the ba^Glrog Too ^Ammuch for the cleric and^E elf, Who fi^Cnd, when they’re facing the ^Gbalrog, That their f^Fighter is n^Eot quite hi^Ammself.

It is ^Ameven more foolhardy for the cha^Cnged and weakened party To ^Dstare back at the balrog and to s^Eay We can z^Amap and we can bi^Fte you. We are q^Guite prepared to ^Efight you. We su^Amggest you turn a^Ground and f^Ely aw^Amay.

A^Gnd th^Cat’s called insulting the ^Gbalrog, For ^Ambalrogs aren’t easy to ^Ebluff. They k^Cnow, with a competent b^Galrog, No a^Frmy is h^Ealf strong ^Amenough.

And it’s j^Amust a bit too tardy when a m^Cember of the party Suc^Dceeds at his IQ roll and exc^Elaims Try a Li^Amght spell or Ent^Fangle While I ^Gget a better an^Egle, For I^Am think I know a ^Gway to dou^Ese his ^Amflames.

A^Gnd th^Cat is called fleeing the b^Galrog, And ^Amthose who are wiser agr^Eee: While ^Ccomrades are bashing the ^Gbalrog, It’s s^Fafest to ^Ego climb a ^Amtree.

It is a^Amlmost as foolhardy for the o^Cthers in the party To ^Dbravely join the fray with spell and ^Esword. It has n^Amo chance of dest^Froying. At the w^Gorst you’ll be ^Eannoying, And a^Amt best you’ll keep the ^Gfoe from b^Eeing bor^Amed.

A^Gnd th^Cat is called bashing the b^Galrog. But ^Amshould any witness surv^Eive, He’ll ^Csee, once you’ve bashed on the b^Galrog, The ba^Flrog will ^Eskin you a^Amlive.

So no m^Amatter just how hardy be the f^Cools within your party, And no ^Dmatter just how lucrative your a^Eim, If it ev^Amer is sugg^Fested You can ^Gget by unmol^Eested, You s^Amhould rise and pound the ^Gtable a^End exc^Amlaim,

W^Ge nev^Cer can win against ba^Glrogs, Howe^Amver the dice might be t^Eossed. For the r^Cules of this game are ob^Gscure and arcane, And the p^Farty that p^Elays it is l^Amost, lost, l^Eost! And the p^Farty that p^Elays it is l^Amost!