Jeremy Taylor - Lift girls lament

^DGoing up ^DFirst floor ^DKnitwear, napiery, beachwear, sportswear,corsetry, millinery, ladies underwear... ^Dthank yoooou going up...

^DWe are the lift girls In a big department s^Atore. We ki^Andly take the patrons Going up from floor to fl^Door. Don't w^Donder if we're weary Of sta^Gnding up all day, ^ACause when the doors fly open ^GIt's our job to sa^Dy

^DSecond floor ^DGlassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tea room ^DRefreshments: Lemonade, orange juice, milkshakes, arsenic and rat poison ^DThank yoooou going up

^DWe are the lift girls We're careful how we dr^Aess I l^Aike my job but I''d very much rather Have been an air hoste^Dss. But as ^DI was always airsick And I cou^Gldn't pass the test I stan^Ad here pushing buttons And the li^Gft does all the re^Dst.

^DThird floor ^DCosmetics, perfumes and colognes, ribbons, handbags, shopping baskets ^DButtons, belts, teen and twenty dresses, ^DThank yooou...going up... ^DAh excuse me, ma'am, can I find glasses on this floor? ^DGlassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tearoom ^DSecond floor. Uh are you perhaps going down? ^Dgoing up!

^DAg sies, tog Marlene What a hell of a job this ^Ais. The bo^Ass won't even give us time To go and have a zi^Dzz. And wh^Dile on the job We can't ^Geven have a smoke ^AAg I'm so tired man I'd give an^Gything for a C^Doke.

^DFourth floor ^DKiddies wear, juvenile, children and subteens, teens, twenties ^DMiddle age, old age, senility, dotage, decomposition ^DThank yoooou, Funeral shrouds...Going up...

^DDon't lean on the buttons please Don't lean on the do^Aors The c^Aar's full up now so you'll have to Walk to the other fl^Doors. H^Dey, take your hands off me W^Gho do you think you are. I m^Aay do a thousand feet a day But I'm n^Got going to go that f^Dar.

^DFifth floor ^DRadio department, electrical appliances, hairdressing salon, friendly sewing school ^DThank you Going up

N.C.

Sixth floor

N.C.

Offices and accounts, offices and accounts, going up.....Going Down

^DIf only I had a minute or two To s^Ait down on my seat. I'm go^Aing to sue the company For giving me flat fe^Det. Now I'^Dve got fallen arches And lumb^Gago in my back I supp^Aose it won't be long now Before I get the sa^Dck. ^DNow when the lift gets stuck for an hour or two You really can't blame m^Ae. If I d^Aon't appear to symphatise With your anxiet^Dy. Cause I've se^Den enough of these four walls To la^Gst for many a day So wh^Aen the clock says half past five I'm o^Gverjoyed to say going ho^Dme.