David Frizzell - Im going to hire a wino

^CI came crawling home last night ^Flike many nights before ^CI finally made it to my feet as she ope^Fned up the door ^C and she said You're n^Cot gonna do this anymore^{G C}

She said I'm going to^C hire a wino to de^Fcorate our home so you'll feel more at ease here^C and you won't need to roam ^G We'll take out t^Che dining room table we'll put a bar ^Falong that wall and a neon sign will point the^C way to our bat^Ghroom down the hall ^C

She said Just bring tho^Cse Friday paychecks and I'll ca^Fsh them all right here And I'll keep on tab for all your fr^Ciends their favorite kind of beer ^G And for you ^CI'll always keep in stock those sof^Ft aluminum cans and when you're feeling macho ^C you can crus^Gh'em like a man ^C

She said We'll rip out a^Cll the carpet and put sawd^Fust on the floor Serve hard-boiled eggs and pretzels ^C and I won't cook no more ^G There'll be Monda^Cy night football on TV ^Fabove the bar and a payphone in the hallway ^C when your friends^G can't find their car ^C

She said I'm gonna hi^Dre a wino to d^Gecorate our home So you'll feel more at ease here ^D and you won't need to roam ^A We'll take out t^Dhe dining room table and put a bar a^Glong that wall and a neon sign will point the^D way to our bat^Ahroom down the hall ^D

She said You'll ^Dget friendly service and va^Grieted atmosphere I'll slip on something sexy ^D and I'll cut it clear to here ^A Then you^D can slap my bottom everytim^Ge you tell a joke just as long as you keep tippin' ^D we'll I'll l^Aaugh until you're broke ^D

She said Instead of ^Da family quarrel we'll ha^Gve a barroom brawl When the ham's bear says its closing time ^D you won't have far to crawl ^A And when you run ^Dout of money ^Gyou'll have me to thank You can sleep it off the next morning ^D while I'm putt^Aing it in the bank ^D

She said I'm gonna hir^Ee a wino to d^Aecorate our home So you'll feel more at ease here ^E and you won't need to roam ^B then when you an^Ed your friends get off of work and you have ^Aa powerful thirst well there won't be any reason why y^Eou ^Bcan't stop off here first ^E

She said I'm gonna hir^F#e a wino to d^Becorate our home So you'll feel more at ease here ^F# and you won't need to roam ^C# We'll take out th^F#e dining room table and put a bar a^Blong that wall and a neon sign will point the^F# way to our bat^C#hroom down the hall ^F#