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Tuning: E A D G B E
[MRS. BUNCH]
Db7Where's... C7the... Fmbathroom? Where's the bathroom?
I need to use the bathroom Tell me that you have a bathroom
In this G7hovel you call Chome. I Fmdon't know which was bumpier
The plane ride or the taxi
All these Gm7freeways are a Fmnightmare Where's my C7purse? I need my Fmcomb!
D7By C#7the F#mway, you're looking healthy And by "healthy" I mean "chunky"
I don't mean that as an insult
I'm just G#7stating it as C#7fact I see your eczema is F#mback.
C#7Are you using the F#mlotion that I sent you? If C#7you're not gonna use it I'll reF#mturn it to the store. BmGod, I give you Aeverything And G#7still you just want C#sus4more-more-more-more-C#more.
Eb7Where's D7the Gmbathroom? Where's the bathroom?
You haven't told me where your bathroom is! [REBECCA, spoken] It's upstairs! [MRS. BUNCH]
Okay, A7fine, I need the Dwalk. Well, your house iGms dot-dot-dot charming
Though some florals wouldn't kill you
Do you Cmever get a Gmmaid here? It's so D7nice to sit and Gmtalk.
Since D7when do you have a venGmdetta against vases? When did D7you stop wearing makeup? Are you Gmsure that you're not gay? CmI'd still love you if Bbyou were gay It would exA7plain this vase vendetta Please just Dtell me if you're gay!
[REBECCA, spoken] Again, I am not gay! [MRS. BUNCH]
CmDon't interGmrupt me! You're D7always with the GmtalkingG7 I Cmjust got off a Gmplane Give me a D7moment to catch my Gmbreath It's the Cmleast you can Gmdo since you D7Lived inside me Gmfor nine months G7And you Cmstill haven't Gmtold me D7Where. The hell. Your stupid bathroom is.
[REBECCA, spoken] Again, it's upstairs! [MRS. BUNCH, spoken] Oh, right! Thank you. Cm Gm/Bb A7 Gm/D Cm Gm/Bb E (sung)
You G#mcall that a bathroom? That's what passes for a bathroom?
There were no bowls of rocks
Or any A#7decorative D#7soaps You don't G#meven have a bathmat
Who doesn't have a bathmat?
If you C#mneed a bathmat G#mI can...ohD#, did you G#mhear? A Ambishop in Wisconsin said something anti-Semitic So the temple has decided to B7boycott cheddar E7cheese EveryAmone asks how you're doing "How is widdle Becky? Is she Dmstill a bigshot Amlawyer?" And to E7that, I just say "AmPlease!"
You won't E7get a husband this way At least Amyou have your career Oh wait, you E7threw out your career To chase this AmCalifornia dream I Dmwasted all that dough on CHarvard and Yale For B7you to be E7living in a dump
In Nowhere, USA Getting fatter by the minute On this greasy, goyish food Just put my luggage in my room Could I get a glass of water? I'll be back in a moment I need to use the bathroom
AmAgain!